welcome back and merry CHRISTmas
Returning home from Canada is always weird and I never really feel "home" by the seeing my house, Heidi or speed limit signs at are MPH. That used to work, but now what usually signals my return is some American and their behavior that reminds me that I am no longer among Canadians. Usually it's when I try to use Canadian money and someone laughs at me or when I see a news broadcast that tells me the world is stable and Pro-American. I see these things and I am sent crashing back into an American reality that wipes the slate clean.
On this trip home, everywhere I stopped someone had to yell, "Merry CHRISTmas" at me. Emphasizing the Christ part as if they were waving a flag to let me know which side of the recent debate they're on. I was not aware that specific holiday greeting usages were such a hot button issue to debate as I have never seen it before and didn't think it was possible to actually debate it. It baffles me that it would get this kind of press or notice or dialogue at all, I only heard about it briefly while I was in Canada and thought it was just a passing story and not really something that would fuel a firestorm of controversy. I guess I underestimated my country. Apparently "happy holidays" the secular form of good cheer to express to anyone you meet, has become the new terrorist that needs eradicating. There seems to be a huge movement to keep Christmas... Christian. I am baffled. The last thing Christmas is, is Christian.
Driving into the country every gas station attendant, normally the least interesting people of the day, were being pretty uppidity over Christ and wanted to make sure that you knew they were PRO Jesus. I guess there has been some boycotting of businesses that aren't using Jesus as a marketing tool and the normally PRO-business republican/quasi-Christians are asking their brain dead, taking-"sheep"-as-a-literal-translation-as-a-way-to-live-life-and-get-into-Heaven constituents to STAY AWAY from businesses that don't have Jesus in their aisles. (Another reason in a the long list of hypocrisies and ironies to add to the justification of why we should selectively thin the herd from time to time) SO, the sheep have actually stayed away from businesses that don't see Jesus as lord. They are really, really worked up over this and it's shocking. WOW! I guess Santa's list is going to be pretty thin this year.
Of course, this is the holiday where all kinds of debates can be raised. For the most part, this holiday is just the "Pagan" celebration of the winter solstice, a holiday (holy day) that uses a fertile tree as it's center piece. Thousands of years later, the Jews added presents and candles to the festivities and then the Christians came along and added blinking lights and a fat man from the North Pole. I'm not sure where in the bible that fat man gets mentioned or where the part comes in about gifts, trees, carols, stockings, flying reindeer, Santa's use of "magic" to slip down chimneys, or the presence of "elves", but you don't want to argue these points with a by-the-book Christian. This is Jesus's birthday and they are going to party. Cause that's what Jesus would do. Even though he was Jewish and was not big on dolling out the gifts. It's been said that Jesus was pretty cheap and was always mooching smokes of his buddies. (side note: Santa isn't Jewish either, he's Norwegian, a notoriously stingy, non festive bunch. So be cautious of old Scandinavians that hang out with "elves" and live in the middle of nowhere and want to give children gifts for being "good".... It's sounds like the M.O. of a pedophile to me.)
Merry CHRISTmas! No, my friend - Happy holidays. I don't know you and you don't know me. I don't believe in your little world and you don't believe in mine. Let's play nice and just agree to do what we want without blood shed. When you are behind your door, celebrate whatever holiday you wish on whatever day you wish, any way you wish and I will do the same. Holiday Salutations are not an issue worthy of debate. The president spying on his own people is a real issue. You... You're foolishness is making it possible for people to fuck with me and get away with it, so pay attention. Otherwise I will burn down your Wal Mart and build a library on it's ashes and then what will you do? I am not one to trifle with.
I hope we don't see this kind of behavior carry over to Easter time. How are we ever going to settle THAT debate? If you don't know already, it's another Pagan celebration, this one - the spring fertility celebration, complete with "EGGS" and "HORNY BUNNIES" that symbolize new life and a new beginning (which is just like spring... Unless you're in the southern hemisphere where it's all death and decay in the spring time). Somehow this has come to represent Jesus "coming back to life", in the minds of the by-the-book, PRO business republican/quasi-Christians. And, again.... It's on another Jewish holiday... so I guess we are going to see a lot of blood stained pastels.
You shouldn't have to say anything at this time of year. It doesn't matter what you believe in or what you want to do with your late December. This should be a time of year when you are looking for reasons to get together with old friends and make new ones. It's not a time of year where you should be looking for reasons to hate even more people. I think we have enough reasons for that. You shouldn't even need a time of year, you should be out there making whoopee with everyone all the time. People in Africa don't even say, "Christmas", nor do the people in Germany, Japan, India, Palau, Russia, Argentina or Peru. Should we hate them and boycott them for not using the proper AMERICAN-ENGLISH pronunciation? Should we hate the people in the southern hemisphere for not cutting down a tree? What about the people that live in the parts of the world where there is no pine? Should we bomb them for not getting into the spirit? Should we put a trade embargo on every country that doesn't acknowledge Christmas as the birth of Jesus?
From now on I'm just going to say, "Give me shit!", I think that sums up the true sentiment of Christmas. That's pretty universal across all the major religions around the world. "Give me shit! It's the end of December!"
Ho-Ho-Ho.
On this trip home, everywhere I stopped someone had to yell, "Merry CHRISTmas" at me. Emphasizing the Christ part as if they were waving a flag to let me know which side of the recent debate they're on. I was not aware that specific holiday greeting usages were such a hot button issue to debate as I have never seen it before and didn't think it was possible to actually debate it. It baffles me that it would get this kind of press or notice or dialogue at all, I only heard about it briefly while I was in Canada and thought it was just a passing story and not really something that would fuel a firestorm of controversy. I guess I underestimated my country. Apparently "happy holidays" the secular form of good cheer to express to anyone you meet, has become the new terrorist that needs eradicating. There seems to be a huge movement to keep Christmas... Christian. I am baffled. The last thing Christmas is, is Christian.
Driving into the country every gas station attendant, normally the least interesting people of the day, were being pretty uppidity over Christ and wanted to make sure that you knew they were PRO Jesus. I guess there has been some boycotting of businesses that aren't using Jesus as a marketing tool and the normally PRO-business republican/quasi-Christians are asking their brain dead, taking-"sheep"-as-a-literal-translation-as-a-way-to-live-life-and-get-into-Heaven constituents to STAY AWAY from businesses that don't have Jesus in their aisles. (Another reason in a the long list of hypocrisies and ironies to add to the justification of why we should selectively thin the herd from time to time) SO, the sheep have actually stayed away from businesses that don't see Jesus as lord. They are really, really worked up over this and it's shocking. WOW! I guess Santa's list is going to be pretty thin this year.
Of course, this is the holiday where all kinds of debates can be raised. For the most part, this holiday is just the "Pagan" celebration of the winter solstice, a holiday (holy day) that uses a fertile tree as it's center piece. Thousands of years later, the Jews added presents and candles to the festivities and then the Christians came along and added blinking lights and a fat man from the North Pole. I'm not sure where in the bible that fat man gets mentioned or where the part comes in about gifts, trees, carols, stockings, flying reindeer, Santa's use of "magic" to slip down chimneys, or the presence of "elves", but you don't want to argue these points with a by-the-book Christian. This is Jesus's birthday and they are going to party. Cause that's what Jesus would do. Even though he was Jewish and was not big on dolling out the gifts. It's been said that Jesus was pretty cheap and was always mooching smokes of his buddies. (side note: Santa isn't Jewish either, he's Norwegian, a notoriously stingy, non festive bunch. So be cautious of old Scandinavians that hang out with "elves" and live in the middle of nowhere and want to give children gifts for being "good".... It's sounds like the M.O. of a pedophile to me.)
Merry CHRISTmas! No, my friend - Happy holidays. I don't know you and you don't know me. I don't believe in your little world and you don't believe in mine. Let's play nice and just agree to do what we want without blood shed. When you are behind your door, celebrate whatever holiday you wish on whatever day you wish, any way you wish and I will do the same. Holiday Salutations are not an issue worthy of debate. The president spying on his own people is a real issue. You... You're foolishness is making it possible for people to fuck with me and get away with it, so pay attention. Otherwise I will burn down your Wal Mart and build a library on it's ashes and then what will you do? I am not one to trifle with.
I hope we don't see this kind of behavior carry over to Easter time. How are we ever going to settle THAT debate? If you don't know already, it's another Pagan celebration, this one - the spring fertility celebration, complete with "EGGS" and "HORNY BUNNIES" that symbolize new life and a new beginning (which is just like spring... Unless you're in the southern hemisphere where it's all death and decay in the spring time). Somehow this has come to represent Jesus "coming back to life", in the minds of the by-the-book, PRO business republican/quasi-Christians. And, again.... It's on another Jewish holiday... so I guess we are going to see a lot of blood stained pastels.
You shouldn't have to say anything at this time of year. It doesn't matter what you believe in or what you want to do with your late December. This should be a time of year when you are looking for reasons to get together with old friends and make new ones. It's not a time of year where you should be looking for reasons to hate even more people. I think we have enough reasons for that. You shouldn't even need a time of year, you should be out there making whoopee with everyone all the time. People in Africa don't even say, "Christmas", nor do the people in Germany, Japan, India, Palau, Russia, Argentina or Peru. Should we hate them and boycott them for not using the proper AMERICAN-ENGLISH pronunciation? Should we hate the people in the southern hemisphere for not cutting down a tree? What about the people that live in the parts of the world where there is no pine? Should we bomb them for not getting into the spirit? Should we put a trade embargo on every country that doesn't acknowledge Christmas as the birth of Jesus?
From now on I'm just going to say, "Give me shit!", I think that sums up the true sentiment of Christmas. That's pretty universal across all the major religions around the world. "Give me shit! It's the end of December!"
Ho-Ho-Ho.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 2:34 PM
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