the invasion of Canada
Episode #3
comedy, medium rare
If there is a BBQ restaurant, I will eat there before I eat anywhere. If there is BBQ on a menu, I will order that before anything, even if it's the most expensive item and I am not in an area of the world that is known for BBQ. I can't help myself. I love BBQ that much. If there is a chance that it might be BBQ, I will take it. Sadly, this philosophy as screwed me out of some decent meals over the years and I have still not learned my lesson.
They say that you should order, "safely" when eating somewhere for the first time. Go with what the locals order. If you follow that line of thinking you would be eating Chicken Fettucini and hot wings every where you go. I have a much better pallate than that.
Comedy touring offers very few perks so it's important to take advantage of them when the present themselves. Quite possibly the best perk is exploration of new lands and when I say exploration, I don't mean viewing the landscape. I am talking about finding new flavors and new dishes that the region has to offer. In Japan you had a lot of great food. Korea - not so much. Canada.... Canada is a food challenge. It's hard to find a decent meal in Canada no matter what side of the country you travel to. This isn't my first trip here and I have failed quite a few times in my pursuit of looking for a great restaurant and I am forced to eat bar food each and every time I'm here just to sustain myself. I still try and I refuse to give up. I know that some day I will walk into the one restaurant that just blow my mind and returns my faith.
I want to like the food here. I really, really do, but Canadian cuisine is salt loving heaven and they love to put carrots and cheese in everything. It's not uncommon to have beef barley soup that is really salty, filled with carrots and covered in melted cheese. You can't help but stare at it and look stunned at the locals around you eating it as if this was normal. Perhaps it is normal, and the rest of the world has it wrong, but I am still shocked. It does sound good and I love carrots and cheese, but generally not together in the same dish, especially if that dish is chocolate cake, which I am sure you can find in some parts of Canada. Most likely Manitoba.
I love to explore the world of food and I thank my lucky stars that comedy allows me the chance to try all this regional fare, but I must take issue with my recent meal. It's a simple dish, something anyone can do, unless, apparently, you're Canadian - BBQ pulled pork. If you are not familiar with the dish, it's basically a pork roast that is slowly roasted and then drowned in BBQ sauce and after a few hours the roast falls apart into yummy perfection which you can eat by the pound. North Carolina lays claim to the title of best pulled pork in the world but I disagree. I have found that the best pulled pork is found in Memphis and Arkansas. But, North Carolina has whined about it long enough that the BBQ world they started calling it North Carolina pulled pork just to shut them up. That apparently wasn't enough for North Carolina so they decided to put a dollop of cole slaw on top of their version just to make sure you knew it was the original and not some rip off. I think this secured their version as the worst you can get. Until....
In Lethbridge, Alberta comedy is a part of the fabric of Tuesday nights. The show is held each week at the local steak house and it packs out with eager comedy fans. The comics are treated well and offered a free meal before their show which I love and I am always eager to take someone up on a free steak even if it's in Canada. I opened the menu and there was "pulled pork" and I was floored. I don't want to order it as I have seen pulled pork done really poorly in the past and not just in Canada. This is a chance at a fairly decent free meal and I can screw it up badly if I take a chance on the pulled pork... my mind is racing. Free steak... pulled pork... free steak... pulled pork. Best chance at enjoying the meal.... best chance that I am going to go to bed hungry... free steak... pulled pork...
I ordered the pork.
I shall not describe what came to my table. I shall leave that for the gods to review when I stand before them in the afterlife. I think it might help my chances of eternal bliss if they see that I ordered the pulled pork and lived to tell the tale. I also think that I earned some karma points, strengthened my aura and screwed up my chi. My colon doesn't feel all that great either.
Hunger cramps and gas are a deadly combination, especially when you are on stage in front of 200 people that love comedy and want to see a show and would be really put out if you had to stop the show half way through to run to the bathroom. You want to bring the funny, but the only thought in your head is how much your body hurts and "Am I going to die from this?". It's that painful. There is no amount of Tums, Zantac or medical attention that can save you from this painful combination.
I was funny, I did my time, I did my show and most of the people loved it. I enjoyed the praise from the crowd after the show and I did my best to hide the pain that was growing in my stomach. I'm sure many of the people that came up to me after the show thought I was disgusted with their presence as all I could was wince when they talked to me.
The only thing worse about eating a bad meal is paying for a bad meal. I am never confident that the meal is really free after an earlier run in with an owner over this very same issue. There was a mix up in communication and it cost me some popularity with a booker, so I would rather just pay for every meal and not run the risk again.
I paid thirteen bucks for my stomach agony.
I will continue to seek out great meals on the road and try to report them to you as I find them. Sadly, the only thing I have to report today is that you should not order the pulled pork in Lethbridge, Alberta unless you like salty, dry pork chops covered in warm ketchup, covered with soggy cheese and four pounds of carrots.
comedy, medium rare
If there is a BBQ restaurant, I will eat there before I eat anywhere. If there is BBQ on a menu, I will order that before anything, even if it's the most expensive item and I am not in an area of the world that is known for BBQ. I can't help myself. I love BBQ that much. If there is a chance that it might be BBQ, I will take it. Sadly, this philosophy as screwed me out of some decent meals over the years and I have still not learned my lesson.
They say that you should order, "safely" when eating somewhere for the first time. Go with what the locals order. If you follow that line of thinking you would be eating Chicken Fettucini and hot wings every where you go. I have a much better pallate than that.
Comedy touring offers very few perks so it's important to take advantage of them when the present themselves. Quite possibly the best perk is exploration of new lands and when I say exploration, I don't mean viewing the landscape. I am talking about finding new flavors and new dishes that the region has to offer. In Japan you had a lot of great food. Korea - not so much. Canada.... Canada is a food challenge. It's hard to find a decent meal in Canada no matter what side of the country you travel to. This isn't my first trip here and I have failed quite a few times in my pursuit of looking for a great restaurant and I am forced to eat bar food each and every time I'm here just to sustain myself. I still try and I refuse to give up. I know that some day I will walk into the one restaurant that just blow my mind and returns my faith.
I want to like the food here. I really, really do, but Canadian cuisine is salt loving heaven and they love to put carrots and cheese in everything. It's not uncommon to have beef barley soup that is really salty, filled with carrots and covered in melted cheese. You can't help but stare at it and look stunned at the locals around you eating it as if this was normal. Perhaps it is normal, and the rest of the world has it wrong, but I am still shocked. It does sound good and I love carrots and cheese, but generally not together in the same dish, especially if that dish is chocolate cake, which I am sure you can find in some parts of Canada. Most likely Manitoba.
I love to explore the world of food and I thank my lucky stars that comedy allows me the chance to try all this regional fare, but I must take issue with my recent meal. It's a simple dish, something anyone can do, unless, apparently, you're Canadian - BBQ pulled pork. If you are not familiar with the dish, it's basically a pork roast that is slowly roasted and then drowned in BBQ sauce and after a few hours the roast falls apart into yummy perfection which you can eat by the pound. North Carolina lays claim to the title of best pulled pork in the world but I disagree. I have found that the best pulled pork is found in Memphis and Arkansas. But, North Carolina has whined about it long enough that the BBQ world they started calling it North Carolina pulled pork just to shut them up. That apparently wasn't enough for North Carolina so they decided to put a dollop of cole slaw on top of their version just to make sure you knew it was the original and not some rip off. I think this secured their version as the worst you can get. Until....
In Lethbridge, Alberta comedy is a part of the fabric of Tuesday nights. The show is held each week at the local steak house and it packs out with eager comedy fans. The comics are treated well and offered a free meal before their show which I love and I am always eager to take someone up on a free steak even if it's in Canada. I opened the menu and there was "pulled pork" and I was floored. I don't want to order it as I have seen pulled pork done really poorly in the past and not just in Canada. This is a chance at a fairly decent free meal and I can screw it up badly if I take a chance on the pulled pork... my mind is racing. Free steak... pulled pork... free steak... pulled pork. Best chance at enjoying the meal.... best chance that I am going to go to bed hungry... free steak... pulled pork...
I ordered the pork.
I shall not describe what came to my table. I shall leave that for the gods to review when I stand before them in the afterlife. I think it might help my chances of eternal bliss if they see that I ordered the pulled pork and lived to tell the tale. I also think that I earned some karma points, strengthened my aura and screwed up my chi. My colon doesn't feel all that great either.
Hunger cramps and gas are a deadly combination, especially when you are on stage in front of 200 people that love comedy and want to see a show and would be really put out if you had to stop the show half way through to run to the bathroom. You want to bring the funny, but the only thought in your head is how much your body hurts and "Am I going to die from this?". It's that painful. There is no amount of Tums, Zantac or medical attention that can save you from this painful combination.
I was funny, I did my time, I did my show and most of the people loved it. I enjoyed the praise from the crowd after the show and I did my best to hide the pain that was growing in my stomach. I'm sure many of the people that came up to me after the show thought I was disgusted with their presence as all I could was wince when they talked to me.
The only thing worse about eating a bad meal is paying for a bad meal. I am never confident that the meal is really free after an earlier run in with an owner over this very same issue. There was a mix up in communication and it cost me some popularity with a booker, so I would rather just pay for every meal and not run the risk again.
I paid thirteen bucks for my stomach agony.
I will continue to seek out great meals on the road and try to report them to you as I find them. Sadly, the only thing I have to report today is that you should not order the pulled pork in Lethbridge, Alberta unless you like salty, dry pork chops covered in warm ketchup, covered with soggy cheese and four pounds of carrots.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 10:25 AM
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