dong. where is my automobile?
The road in front of me is pure water. Actually,everything in front of me is pure water, in various states of matter, but it's still water. One can only hope that my car, which aspires to be a boat, can make it across this new waterscape into Canada.
As I will be in Canada for Daniel Day, I am having my American celebration this evening with all of the normal ballyhoo that accompanies it; Mexican food. Cookies. Children. Granted, none of the children are mine and none of their parents know me, but I can pretend that they do and that the crying and screaming is really laughter and singing. Children love cookies...
Birthday parties used to be a big deal to me. Then, in 1980, my birthday was ruined forever when during my birthday party, John Lennon went and got himself shot and then died. This wouldn't have been a big deal, but the parents of the kids attending my party were big fans of the man and they grabbed their kids and went home for some reason. Probably to play Beattles records, smoke some pot and then drink laced Kool Aid, I'll never know. But they left me alone in that pizza hut with nothing but a lot of pizza, some balloons and silence. I do know that since that night, I never saw any of those kids again. Every birthday party since has been a sorrowful rememberance of a man that I never met. The Beatles fucked up my birthday. I either need to find friends that hate the Beatles or change my birthday to November 29th.
It's not that it's easy having a birthday in December to begin with. For those of you with birthdays comfortably set into summer or spring months I say, KISS MY ASS! You have never and will never, know the pain of seeing birthday SLASH Christmas presents. Every relative and friend you have sends you a card for your birthday with twenty dollars in it and written inside it says, "Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas" and then they expect you to spend that money on Christmas presents for... THEM! You don't know my pain!
Eventually my birthday found a healthy use and a valuable label. "First big party of winter." That's right, in my world, my birthday just happened to sit at a point in time when boys and girls would return from college and would need a great big throw down of a good time. The rest of the world would also need some release and the only gig in town was my Little Mermaid birthday party. It was a blow out. Not one time did I ever hear, "Imagine" being played. It was bliss.
As I got older and friends grew out of their party phase, I somehow found myself on the road on my birthday. Every year I spent my Daniel Day in movie theaters watching movies from 10 AM until midnight. It was an easy way to kill a day and a great excuse for not answering my phone. It helped that the week before my birthday is the large blockbuster weekend release date.
There is not much worse than the friend or relative that only calls you on your birthday and only on your birthday. It's an awful feeling and an even more awkward conversation. I think it feels better when someone doesn't try to be obvious and call you. I like it when they say they forgot and then scramble to make up for it. It shows that they are honest and don't give a shit about the small stuff. I think I feel this way, because I don't remember any birthdays either and I just want to know that I am not the only one. You people and your birthdays comfortably tucked away in the warm months, WHY SHOULD I REMEMBER YOURS?!
Eventually the question of what I want for my birthday pops up and I have always gone with the easiest fail-safe answer, "chocolate chip cookies". This was a great idea the first year when I only told one person. Then it mutated to six or seven people being told and six or seven people making cookies and now it's completely out of control. I end up throwing away nine dozen cookies before it's all said and done and it crushes my soul to see good cookies get wasted like that. One year I tried to eat them all and I lost my vision for two days from all the sugar and butter intake.
If I survive this wall of water in front of me and make it to Christmas (my 33rd consecutive without on miss, it's a record) I think I will take a few weeks off and return to my perch on the porch and get some much needed writing done. Perhaps I shall write a letter to Yoko and make peace with her. If you ask me, I think Mark David Chapman was really trying to kill her for what she did to the Beatles and she threw the much lighter John in front of her to block the bullets. Mark David, being a big fan of John, was in such shock over what had gone wrong that he lives in a hospital to this day, still at a loss for words over what happened.
Something to think about: I think Jodie Foster asked Mark David to do it and she is just playing it off like she is innocent. I think she had a thing for Joh.... Yoko, and needed to eliminate the competition. Think about that.
Everyone enjoy some Mexican tonight. Food that is. The traditional song that is sung around the world to celebrate Daniel Day is this. (gather the kids around, grab a guitar, light a cigarette and enjoy)
To the rythum of "I touch myself" by The Divinyls. They stole the song, changed the lyrics a bit and released it, but it's still the most widely recognized Daniel Day song in the world.
As I will be in Canada for Daniel Day, I am having my American celebration this evening with all of the normal ballyhoo that accompanies it; Mexican food. Cookies. Children. Granted, none of the children are mine and none of their parents know me, but I can pretend that they do and that the crying and screaming is really laughter and singing. Children love cookies...
Birthday parties used to be a big deal to me. Then, in 1980, my birthday was ruined forever when during my birthday party, John Lennon went and got himself shot and then died. This wouldn't have been a big deal, but the parents of the kids attending my party were big fans of the man and they grabbed their kids and went home for some reason. Probably to play Beattles records, smoke some pot and then drink laced Kool Aid, I'll never know. But they left me alone in that pizza hut with nothing but a lot of pizza, some balloons and silence. I do know that since that night, I never saw any of those kids again. Every birthday party since has been a sorrowful rememberance of a man that I never met. The Beatles fucked up my birthday. I either need to find friends that hate the Beatles or change my birthday to November 29th.
It's not that it's easy having a birthday in December to begin with. For those of you with birthdays comfortably set into summer or spring months I say, KISS MY ASS! You have never and will never, know the pain of seeing birthday SLASH Christmas presents. Every relative and friend you have sends you a card for your birthday with twenty dollars in it and written inside it says, "Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas" and then they expect you to spend that money on Christmas presents for... THEM! You don't know my pain!
Eventually my birthday found a healthy use and a valuable label. "First big party of winter." That's right, in my world, my birthday just happened to sit at a point in time when boys and girls would return from college and would need a great big throw down of a good time. The rest of the world would also need some release and the only gig in town was my Little Mermaid birthday party. It was a blow out. Not one time did I ever hear, "Imagine" being played. It was bliss.
As I got older and friends grew out of their party phase, I somehow found myself on the road on my birthday. Every year I spent my Daniel Day in movie theaters watching movies from 10 AM until midnight. It was an easy way to kill a day and a great excuse for not answering my phone. It helped that the week before my birthday is the large blockbuster weekend release date.
There is not much worse than the friend or relative that only calls you on your birthday and only on your birthday. It's an awful feeling and an even more awkward conversation. I think it feels better when someone doesn't try to be obvious and call you. I like it when they say they forgot and then scramble to make up for it. It shows that they are honest and don't give a shit about the small stuff. I think I feel this way, because I don't remember any birthdays either and I just want to know that I am not the only one. You people and your birthdays comfortably tucked away in the warm months, WHY SHOULD I REMEMBER YOURS?!
Eventually the question of what I want for my birthday pops up and I have always gone with the easiest fail-safe answer, "chocolate chip cookies". This was a great idea the first year when I only told one person. Then it mutated to six or seven people being told and six or seven people making cookies and now it's completely out of control. I end up throwing away nine dozen cookies before it's all said and done and it crushes my soul to see good cookies get wasted like that. One year I tried to eat them all and I lost my vision for two days from all the sugar and butter intake.
If I survive this wall of water in front of me and make it to Christmas (my 33rd consecutive without on miss, it's a record) I think I will take a few weeks off and return to my perch on the porch and get some much needed writing done. Perhaps I shall write a letter to Yoko and make peace with her. If you ask me, I think Mark David Chapman was really trying to kill her for what she did to the Beatles and she threw the much lighter John in front of her to block the bullets. Mark David, being a big fan of John, was in such shock over what had gone wrong that he lives in a hospital to this day, still at a loss for words over what happened.
Something to think about: I think Jodie Foster asked Mark David to do it and she is just playing it off like she is innocent. I think she had a thing for Joh.... Yoko, and needed to eliminate the competition. Think about that.
Everyone enjoy some Mexican tonight. Food that is. The traditional song that is sung around the world to celebrate Daniel Day is this. (gather the kids around, grab a guitar, light a cigarette and enjoy)
To the rythum of "I touch myself" by The Divinyls. They stole the song, changed the lyrics a bit and released it, but it's still the most widely recognized Daniel Day song in the world.
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me
Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch DANIEL
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
You're the one who makes me come running
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine
I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you
Chorus
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me
Chorus
I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch DANIEL
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah
Chorus
posted by Daniel Loomis | 9:31 AM
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