QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK christmas edition - part two

What's with the hat?

The hat is a brown fedora. Felt. And it's very comfy. I can't say that there is anything "with it" but it's damn sexy and a good thing to have in inclimate weather. I recommend them to everyone. If you're going to Asia it will make you look very Aussie, which can help you get waited on in restaurants.

Were you the kid with the dart board?

No. As I said before, it was another kid in the class, but I don't know how. Odd that I should remember only that moment in our time together, but that's all I can.

What did you do for your birthday?

I spent most of the time at Marcus' house and then I went to Yuk Yuk's to do a show. There was no parade, no orgy and no elephants. Just a lonely man who got a year older without any fanfare. It was heavenly.

You talk about moving to Canada and then you talk about how good it feels to get home, which is right?

Both. I love Canada and can see myself there in a short time, that has nothing to do with where I am now. Home is home, whether its the first day you move in or the day you move out. It's still home. It takes a transitionary period to transfer that sentiment from one place to another. Usually the moment is found when you look back through the door one last time before you leave and travel to the new destination. Until that day, the Forgottens will still be home. But Canada is on the horizon.

How do you feel about the rest of the holidays on the American calendar?

I write about each one as they come and go. Perhaps you can look back and see my posts about St. Pats, Fourth of July, Halloween, Easter and Valentines. As we sit on the doorstep of New Years, I have only this to say - make sure you have the stamina to stay up late so you can kiss someone... I think that's the only tradition there. Somehow that means a New Year has started.

When are you coming back to Kelowna?

I am working on dates with the Yuk Yuks people for a tour in late May-early June and hope to see Kelowna on that schedule. I can't say for sure when that will be, but that's what I would like. I am scheduled to make an early return to Canada in the next few weeks to argue a speeding ticket in Fernie. It's not as sexy as Kelowna, or funny, but it's my next visit.

When are you going to write about your sexual past?

I realize that there is a lot of referrence to my past but I try not to include names in my posts that would only be here because they slept with me. I don't think they were aware that they would be signing on for that and so I don't want to abuse the memory in that way. However, if you have a specific question, go ahead and ask and I can use Alphabet names again.

Would you quit writing the blog if you moved?

No. It just wouldn't be called the color commentary from the forgotten mountains. It would be saucy talk from blah blah blah. Maybe I'll just hold a contest and you can name the new blog. I will continue to write it as long as there is access to a computer.

Did you know that all major holidays are stolen from Pagan celebrations?

No, I knew some of them were, but I didn't know that Fourth of July, Cinco De Mayo, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Boxing Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Black History Month and National Secretary Week were fomer Pagan celebrations... What did we change?

What is your wrist shot?

I have several. One of them is communication and the other is humor. I can't say that either is really note worthy or going to land me an endorsement deal with Nike, but they seem to work for those that meet me. However, I have noticed that I am a lot quieter lately. I guess I need to find another one. Perhaps I could be the greatest UNO player in the world and don't know it yet. Perhaps.

I was at your show in Calgary and I want to know if you would really sleep with a 14 year old?

WELL, not in Calgary... Thailand... maybe. I don't know... what's the law there?

What does BDSM stand for?

Bondage. Domination. Sadist. Masochism. OR Big Dicks Small Mice. OR Baking Dough Stewed Meat. Or Bring Down Socialized Medicine. Or What ever else you would like. It's the more intense form of sexual activity. Bigger sexual experience.


AND YES.... THAT'S IT!!! For some reason I thought there were more questions, but I was wrong. Either I lost some of the questions or I read the emails wrong and thought there were more, but I guess that's it. Nothing severe this time, nothing really telling. I guess you guys are trying to take it easy on me and I appreciate it.

Back to a normal world.