the tao of garfield
I am stunned by the child trends that have sprouted up over the years and just how empty their "fascination's" purpose really is. Some of the things that children think are wonderful toys or are items that they must have in their life so they can live as well adjusted human beings are really just glorified furry flashlights or teddy bears dipped in different colors with different stitching. What I think is really amusing to hear about are the parents jumping all over each other to grab that last Furbie off the shelf so THEIR child can have it for Christmas and not some other child. (Christmas is the time of peace, love, sharing and all that stuff, right?) It doesn't matter if they have to hurt someone to get it, it's more important that they make their child happy. I'm not sure why pleasing children became the number one priority but parents are dedicated to the task and are willing to let others suffer in the process. Perhaps the parent's self-esteem is so low that they think that only showering their child with presents will make their child love them. Is that it? Perhaps. The parents do act like needy little children when they are fighting other parents to get the one TOY that will make their child the luckiest kid on the block. Maybe the parents want to show their child that they can provide for them or that their parent is the toughest on the block - or the coolest - or the baddest. Maybe making their child happy means that their life will be easier because the child won't bother them as much. Perhaps the toy is just a pacifier that will keep their child busy until they are old enough to move out and buy their own toys.
Over the years, toys such as the Furbie, Barney, Teletubies, Bob the Builder, Tickle Me Elmo and Cabbage Patch Kids have all created a mass hysteria as the "must have" item for Christmas. There have been others as well, but none have been as violent as the Barney, Elmo years. Those were some dark times in the world of toys... A moment of silence for those we left behind in the bloody isle of Toys R US on that fateful day.....
For the two months leading up to December 25th, you couldn't get a hold of one of these must have items during the year that each was the holy grail of gifts. Each year, there are news reports that show video footage of people sleeping outside of Toys R Us in the freezing cold or stampeding and fighting through the doors at a Wal Mart at midnight just to get this toy, raise it above their head in victory and then get beaten down by dozens of other hungry, salivating, rabid parents. The rest of world stands back, views the carnage and just shakes their head in amazement. You hear this a lot, "What kind of idiots are we allowing to breath our air?" and "If that is what the parent acts like, then what kind of children must they have." And when they say, "what kind of children" you know they want to say, "their children must be put down before this is allowed to spread." Those guilty of acting this way will never admit to being part of the rabid herd of desperate parents, they just lower their heads in shame and hope that their child doesn't punish them when they get home.
I understand toy devotion when your a child. I was a big Garfield fan when I was a kid. I loved it. However, the fascination was the books and the little crap items that you could buy everywhere for around two bucks a piece. Garfield and his gear was never a must have item for Christmas so it was always available and cheap. I had posters, sheets, curtains, books, rulers, paper, and all the other crap that I can't remember. I loved that damn cat and I wanted it on everything. I used to think those kids into other stuff like Strawberry Shortcake and Star Wars were fools that didn't know better. They were misinformed and I should pity them. Ironically, today I am not a cat fan. But when I was a child, Garfield spoke to me in more ways than just his four box lifestyle. He was more to me than just a cat that liked lasagna, he was a spiritual leader. A monk, a prophet and a sage. He was it. His philosophy in life seemed to appeal directly to a fat kid like myself and I could appreciate his smart ass ways and his determination to rid his world of cuteness, opposition and personal responsibility. He lived and breathed to eat and sleep. Everything else in life was either on the way to a meal or nap or coming from a meal or nap. His Tao was very strong and his message resonated through my soul.
My fascination with Garfield lasted for years and finally found it's way to the dust bin when I turned into a sex fiend. It would seem that there was more in life than just eating and sleeping that one could do to bring pleasure to one's soul. The Garfield sheets and curtains didn't seem to be a part of my new plan as I soon realized that it was hard for a woman to climax when she sees a fat, smiling cartoon cat staring at her from the pillow below her.
Garfield is still a great source of inspiration as he has not changed in the twenty plus years that he has been around. He is still fat, still looking for food, making time for naps and he still has a great deal of contempt for those that would ask more of him than he can give. To be honest, as an adult the thing I think I like the most about him is that he drinks coffee, something I never realized before. I love him in a whole new way and it's sad that Garfield never saw the fame and fury that the Furbie saw, but he can take pride in the fact that he saw more pussy love than Heathcliff ever did. I don't think Heathcliff is even around anymore. HA! Poser.
In a dramatic twist of fate, all the frenzy that each of the must have toys created died quickly, and today you can find each toy in a clearance rack at your local 7-11 for a tenth of the asking price in their glory days. Their glory was the flash in the pan that those of us not caught up in the frenzy knew they were. The toys have lost their value as quickly as they gained it and a kid would be embarrassed and cry if you purchased one of them today. Garfield, having laid low on the popularity scale, is still in print in newspapers on a daily basis. He had a major motion picture made about his life (it was bad, but Bill Murray did the voice of Garfield, so according to the Caine-Murray credo, it's still worth seeing because he is in it) and Garfield can still be found on sheets, rulers, curtains and plush toys that you can stick to the rear window of your car. Can Barney say that? Do the Cabbage Patch kids still publish a book each year? Does Garfield scare children and animals the way the Furbie does? Does anyone trust Furbie not to kill them in their sleep?
Over the years, toys such as the Furbie, Barney, Teletubies, Bob the Builder, Tickle Me Elmo and Cabbage Patch Kids have all created a mass hysteria as the "must have" item for Christmas. There have been others as well, but none have been as violent as the Barney, Elmo years. Those were some dark times in the world of toys... A moment of silence for those we left behind in the bloody isle of Toys R US on that fateful day.....
For the two months leading up to December 25th, you couldn't get a hold of one of these must have items during the year that each was the holy grail of gifts. Each year, there are news reports that show video footage of people sleeping outside of Toys R Us in the freezing cold or stampeding and fighting through the doors at a Wal Mart at midnight just to get this toy, raise it above their head in victory and then get beaten down by dozens of other hungry, salivating, rabid parents. The rest of world stands back, views the carnage and just shakes their head in amazement. You hear this a lot, "What kind of idiots are we allowing to breath our air?" and "If that is what the parent acts like, then what kind of children must they have." And when they say, "what kind of children" you know they want to say, "their children must be put down before this is allowed to spread." Those guilty of acting this way will never admit to being part of the rabid herd of desperate parents, they just lower their heads in shame and hope that their child doesn't punish them when they get home.
I understand toy devotion when your a child. I was a big Garfield fan when I was a kid. I loved it. However, the fascination was the books and the little crap items that you could buy everywhere for around two bucks a piece. Garfield and his gear was never a must have item for Christmas so it was always available and cheap. I had posters, sheets, curtains, books, rulers, paper, and all the other crap that I can't remember. I loved that damn cat and I wanted it on everything. I used to think those kids into other stuff like Strawberry Shortcake and Star Wars were fools that didn't know better. They were misinformed and I should pity them. Ironically, today I am not a cat fan. But when I was a child, Garfield spoke to me in more ways than just his four box lifestyle. He was more to me than just a cat that liked lasagna, he was a spiritual leader. A monk, a prophet and a sage. He was it. His philosophy in life seemed to appeal directly to a fat kid like myself and I could appreciate his smart ass ways and his determination to rid his world of cuteness, opposition and personal responsibility. He lived and breathed to eat and sleep. Everything else in life was either on the way to a meal or nap or coming from a meal or nap. His Tao was very strong and his message resonated through my soul.
My fascination with Garfield lasted for years and finally found it's way to the dust bin when I turned into a sex fiend. It would seem that there was more in life than just eating and sleeping that one could do to bring pleasure to one's soul. The Garfield sheets and curtains didn't seem to be a part of my new plan as I soon realized that it was hard for a woman to climax when she sees a fat, smiling cartoon cat staring at her from the pillow below her.
Garfield is still a great source of inspiration as he has not changed in the twenty plus years that he has been around. He is still fat, still looking for food, making time for naps and he still has a great deal of contempt for those that would ask more of him than he can give. To be honest, as an adult the thing I think I like the most about him is that he drinks coffee, something I never realized before. I love him in a whole new way and it's sad that Garfield never saw the fame and fury that the Furbie saw, but he can take pride in the fact that he saw more pussy love than Heathcliff ever did. I don't think Heathcliff is even around anymore. HA! Poser.
In a dramatic twist of fate, all the frenzy that each of the must have toys created died quickly, and today you can find each toy in a clearance rack at your local 7-11 for a tenth of the asking price in their glory days. Their glory was the flash in the pan that those of us not caught up in the frenzy knew they were. The toys have lost their value as quickly as they gained it and a kid would be embarrassed and cry if you purchased one of them today. Garfield, having laid low on the popularity scale, is still in print in newspapers on a daily basis. He had a major motion picture made about his life (it was bad, but Bill Murray did the voice of Garfield, so according to the Caine-Murray credo, it's still worth seeing because he is in it) and Garfield can still be found on sheets, rulers, curtains and plush toys that you can stick to the rear window of your car. Can Barney say that? Do the Cabbage Patch kids still publish a book each year? Does Garfield scare children and animals the way the Furbie does? Does anyone trust Furbie not to kill them in their sleep?
posted by Daniel Loomis | 9:22 AM
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