REVENGE OF THE QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK

Can you sing? What's your favorite song?

I tend to sing a lot and I will not qualify that with a "only in my car" etc. I sing all the time. The catch to my singing is that I don't sing the whole song or even the right words to the song. I like to sing a song mixed together with other songs, with words of my own choosing. My favorite song changes from day to day, moment to moment. Today the song of choice is Lunatic Fringe. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's because the way he verbalizes "lunatic fringe" sounds so generic, which allows any four syllable phrase to fit in there.

How many movies have you seen?

Let's put it this way, I can usually recognize a movie during the pre-film Universal, Paramount or 20 century fox logo. I have seen tens of thousands of movies. Almost all of them were viewed before I was 28. I have the knowledge, try me....

What did the pep club lady say to you after you made fun of her?

I wrote a post where I made reference to the pep club banner making society as big paper wasters. A reader in Texas wrote back and very graciously informed me that she was on the banner making society and that I was wrong. They didn't use new paper, they recycled their banners when they could by painting over them. Which makes them the biggest wasters of white paint in the world.

What is your deal with Hippies?

I really have no issues with them. I am not a fan of extremist anybodies, and so I tend to group hippies in with neo-Christian pro-lifers. They share the same amount of judgmental behavior which entails disruptions of your casual day with commentary about their borrowed, narrow minded world view and a sense that they need to re-educate the world to see the genius that they have discovered. "The world will be a better place when everyone agrees with me!"

Have you ever been in a fight?

Yes. Many. There are all types of fights and other than fighting for my political life, I think I have seen most of them.
How's your urban legend coming along? Need help?

My urban legend wasn't hard to put together, it's hard to spread it around. There needs to be other ways to get people to believe in these silly little stories. Help? Can you come fix my bathroom?

How do you describe a person wearing a cowboy hat with a thick gold chain and combat boots and baggy pants?

Gay. Or Ashton Kutcher.

What was the worst part about killing the chickens?

The smell of burning chicken hair. Yes, they have hair on their bodies. It had to be burned off after they were plucked. Which wasn't' a great treat either. It smelled like human flesh burning.

Do you think less of men or women?

This comes from the Delicate thorny flowers post where I talked about men and what they want when it comes to women. If you read the post, I try to show that I think the same about everyone. I am not trying to place one sex above or below another. I think it's pretty obvious that neither sex has their shit straight and neither sex can claim supremacy over the other. As to my own feelings; Women are pretty obnoxious when they are emotional and catty and men are even more obnoxious when they are emotional and start wars or cry during "Brian's Song".

Are there any bad restaurants in your town?

Well. There are restaurants that are not as good as others, but we have four posh little restaurants, so it's not fair to compare a normal, small town restaurant to one of these. In any other town, the non-posh diners would probably be prom worthy. There is one that is pretty bad, but we don't speak of it. Let's just say, I would rather eat at one of the four gas stations in town that also serve food before I eat there.

How's your heart?

It's good. It turns out that late night coffee, late night eating or eating after say six, is one of the main reasons for the discomfort. I cut down on the smoking and that helped I'm sure. I still have a way to go. My diet is still rich in sugar, salt and fat and that isn't making the matter any better, but I am working on it and I think three weeks in the Orient will help that along.
How's Heidi's health?

Heidi is a big question mark. Her leg is worse and she chews on what looks like a tumor growing on her leg all the time. She is slow to rise but once she has her legs, she is fine. The thick coat that haunts her breed has returned and the fall weather isn't dropping fast enough to justify it, but she is a trooper and hasn't died yet. I shall tell her you care.
You have never shown compassion for any of the survivors of any of the hurricanes, tsunamis or other disasters, aren't you ashamed? Are you soulless? What's wrong with you?

So many questions. Am I ashamed? No. How dare you seek to justify your feelings and control issues involved with them by using death, loss or "change" as a reason. You can't handle the natural order of life, then you have some things you need to work on, most notably, your neediness to feel like you own the perfection that is the world. Am I soulless? No. I love Roberta Flack. What's wrong with me? Nothing that has to do with hurricanes, tsunamis or other natural weather occurrences. I ask you this? Did you cry as much for the hurricane victims as you did for the people that died in the heat wave that killed over a hundred in Chicago two years ago? No. You probably didn't even notice that. Not a disaster unless there's a telethon.

MORE TOMORROW.....