RETURN OF THE QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK

You asked, some of you asked the same question, which will only be answered once, but here it is...

Why did you change the name of your blog from Daniel lives here to just Daniel?

The name changed when it became clear that the people reading it were no longer people I knew personally and so I didn't feel the name was appropriate. Daniel was the easiest way to name it without trying to be cute.

Have you eaten one of your chickens yet?

No, most of them have walked off the property to neighbors and they say they're delicious, however, I have not eaten one yet.

Did killing chickens change your mind about eating them?

No. I think I enjoy chicken more now. Chickens are a hard animal to live with, there is loads of untimely crowing, chicken shit everywhere and they are generally pretty boring as pets go, so eating them seems to be sweet revenge. However, I will never eat chicken SKIN again. You don't want to know why.

Is Johnny Depp a Caine-Murray award winner?

No. He would be but it's impossible to sit and watch, "What's eating Gilbert Grape?" and his presence in "Nightmare on Elm Street" didn't save it or make it worth watching.

Do you condone Homosexuality?

I don't think I am in a position to judge. My opinion is thus, Who gives a shit? My attitude toward the sex lives of others can be easily summed up like this, There are those that will sleep with me and there are those that won't sleep with me. I seem to like those that will sleep with me more than the ones that won't. End of story.

Will you poop in public?

Give me a moment to stop laughing... Ummmm, sure. If I have to go, I guess I have to go. If you are referring to pooping IN FRONT OF the general public, I think I might have a problem unless there was money involved. But if you are referring to pooping in a public bathroom, I have my standards.. Must be a nice hotel bathroom, a hospital or other lesser used toilet, otherwise, no, I can't do it. Unless of course, there's money involved.

Marking your territory is hysterical, would you ever let someone pee on you?

Again, I AM NOT INTO WATER SPORTS. (I do sense a theme to these questions, don't you?) No, no peeing on me unless I have been stung by a jellyfish or there's money involved. I was once asked to pee on someone sexually but was unable to do it, I can't believe that I have an emotional scar from NOT being able to pee on someone.

What would make you put a blonde streak in your hair?

I wanted one. My hair is much longer than when I first dyed it and the streak looks more like a lone highlight streaking down the side of my head. It makes me really sexy so back off.

Your grasp of the English language is abhorrent, did you graduate from high school?

Yes. HA. It wasn't the experience that I wanted it to be, but I did it. I will admit to having left most of my knowledge of the English language in my locker along with a bunch of crap that I didn't think I would ever use after graduation. I'm pretty sure it's still there.

Do you fish?

No. Go fish.

Does your house have electricity?

Well, yes it does. Let me paint a picture... Old white farm house. Wrap around porch. Large tan barn with matching chicken coop - metal sided and only footsteps away from the back porch. Large gravel drive. From my smoking perch on the front porch I look north in to the starry sky above the foothills. To my left - a valley that leads to town, beyond that is the great expanse of the Palouse. To my right - the valley that leads into the forgottens. Behind the house... danger! There is water, electricity, television and a working oven. The toilet flushes, the shower works and there is no foundation so the house is crooked in every direction.

What part of Missouri are you from?

Kansas City.

Can you describe yourself in less that ten words?

Yes.

Ever notice how much you write about fencing? Do you think that it's a subconscious metaphor for your life?

subconscious metaphor? I'm not really sure what that is, but I know that fencing and my life are almost one and the same. Check this out... I am either building fences to keep things IN or I am building fences to keep things OUT. Sometimes I build a fence for both. I am also tearing fences DOWN all the time. Fences that OTHER people built to keep things IN or OUT, but now they are gone and they don't do either. Now is that deep or what? The depth of the fencing issue is this... Animals have a tendency to wander without them and it's a major pain to chase them down. Fences are a luxury not unlike your remote control. It's not required, but it makes the whole overall experience more worthwhile.

Why don't you write more about your political views?

I do, and it meets with a lot of scorn from the readers. Most of you have indicated that you will not read my politically motivated entries because they either piss you off or you don't understand them. AND, I think I summed up everything that needed to be said about the present day political world when I asked everyone to vote Republican across the board last October. Remember? I said this would happen if Bush won and I was right, so now I am trying to be humble and not say, "I told you so" every day.

When did you start smoking?

When I was young. My grandmother felt is was a good idea for me to smoke so that I could not become addicted to drugs. In her assessment, you could only be addicted to one thing. Smoking was the lesser to all evils. Of course, I am not sure why it was important for me to be addicted to anything at all. Thanks grandma.

What is your favorite meal?

Tuna fish, cottage cheese, water crackers. Black pepper. Which is tied with anything BBQ.

Has this blog changed your life in any way?

Sure it has. I love writing it and I love reading the emails that you send to me about it. It's one of the greatest sources of joy that I have in my life and I enjoy the creative process. I will admit that I don't read my own blog and that I am shocked when people ask me something about it. They will write and say something nice or meaningful and I won't have a clue what they are referring to. Such as the peeing on people question, I had to go back and check the post that they were referring to, read it and then I got what it was they were asking. It turns out that I use this blog to get stuff out of my head which is very helpful in my day. Sadly, my inability to recall any of it makes it difficult to enjoy it with others. AND, I spend hours working on this blog and have yet to make a dime.... Enjoy!


TO BE CONTINUED....