CURSE OF THE LEGEND OF THE ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK MOUNTAIN, THE WRATH OF KHAN

You have been very critical of artists, women, politicians and christians, what makes you think you're that special?

At what point have any of the above listed groups NOT been hyper critical of others themselves? Artists.. Most writers can't stand other writers. Painters hate other painters. Comics usually hate other comics. Singer/songwriters always think other singer/songwriters suck. Women absolutely can't hide their hatred for other women and they constantly complain about men in general terms when they are not bashing on one or two men individually. Politicians need to be critical to define their positions as opposed to a real person that defines themselves by what they do, not by what they don't do that others DO do. Christians.... 100 billion dead and counting, all in the name of God, Jesus and their critical nature of those that do not agree with them and, not all of those deaths were pain free, easy deaths. I would like to think that I am the average critical man with a smart ass tone that seems to make my criticisms stand out with a bit more tang than the average barb, jab, slam or bite. No one is above criticism or being critical. Hence; your criticism of me disguised as a question.

How come we never see photos of any of the things you write about?

I am not much of a photo person but I promise to work on it. I will work on getting more visuals for those of you that like your books with pictures. What do you want to see? Dead chickens? Heidi chewing on her leg? My tummy rolling over my pants? Or just nudes?

What would happen if a ski resort opened in the mountains near your house? Would you move?

There is a ski resort of sorts. It's just open in the day light hours and it doesn't see that much snow, so it's not open very much. However, if it did see more snow and it was open for more than six hours a day and it had a hotel, lodge or whatever, then I think it would bring some much needed work, moolah and sexy ski bunnies that our little hamlet desperately needs. The forgottens know how to keep people away from them and I don't think we have to worry about a ski resort any time soon. The one that is here is for sale and anybody could come in and make it something but no one wants too. I think that says a lot. Our mountains are cursed. Would I move? Not for that reason.

Did you know that there's a movie called, "The Green Mile"? (in reference to the "long yellow mile" post)

You are kidding me! WOW! That is SO weird! What's it about? Chickens?

What does feckless mean?

Feckless: It means someone or something that is worthless.

Do you think they will ever impeach (George) Bush?

No. He will skate through. However, others will not be as lucky. He will stand alone as the only non-guilty party involved in politics. If he has been anything to the last six years of American Politics, he has just been the Republican parties, "Mother Night". He is a figure head-talking moron that is truly not guilty of any crimes other than being an Idiot from Connecticut with a southern accent. Those that ran the country will suffer and be disavowed and leave poor George to run things alone. That should be fun. If he doesn't resign, a darker branch of the government will step up to run things. You don't want that.

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Nothing. I just like to look at the lovely people and hand out candies filled with poison, razors and hope. I get into Valentine's day and that's really the only true holiday. If any of you are dressing up as a sexy -blah, blah, blah. I would love photos.
Would you marry me and my husband in Hawaii?

First, the whole Danist thing is not really a religion and I am not really an ordained minister or legal administrator that can "marry" anyone. However, if you are asking me to "marry" you, as in proposal, then I have to say no. I can't. But I would like to go to the wedding, especially if it's in the wedding state. The last visit to Hawaii was for a wedding, it was a hoot and I would love to go back. I'm not sure if I would be the best person for officiating a wedding anyway. The bride always looks so hot I'm not sure I could focus. If the man cries and looks so emasculated, I just want to slap him and run off with his bride for some prima noctre.

What's your definition of a good writer?

Ohhhhhhh...... Touchy. I think a good writer has a good sense of self and isn't afraid to put the word on the page. An average writer uses pure selfish emotion to motivate the words and it reads like sappy, sentimental dribble which is void of contrast. I think a good writer has simple ideas made they can make into complex ones. I think a good writer doesn't think above the reader but on the same level and it will show in their choice of imagery and reaction. I think a good writer should keep writing until all the work in their head is tapped out and they should not wait until inspiration finds them. OR, they can just be Mark Twain.
What do you consider to be your worst trait?

I think my worst trait is that I can easily separate myself without regret which doesn't create a sense of stability in those people around me that feel they need that. I think I hurt people's feelings when I don't mean to. It's a pretty bad trait. And I like to lightly push people for no reason and I don't mean mentally, I mean physically push them. Just a slow nudge just enough for me to see them move a bit then I stop. I was told by a doctor that it's a pretty common trait for people with extremely high levels of Dopamine in their system. I have extremely high levels of Dopamine in my system and I love to do it. I have never hurt anyone and I like the fact that no one says anything when I do it, they just slowly move and don't acknowledge the pressure at all. It's weird and I still love to do it.

Thank you all so much for the questions and the tolerance to put up with a whole week of them. I am sorry if you didn't see the answers you were hoping for. For those of you Jones-ing for a real post they start again tomorrow. THEN, I start the requested ones. You can send in submissions, but I have a ton still left from the last few times I have done it. However, if yours is better, then I will do that one. NO MORE BULLSHIT ABOUT FOREIGN COUNTRIES!

Thank you and good night.