BRIDE OF THE QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK
Why did you put those ads on your blog?
This blog is about two or three hours of my day - sometimes more. It's my great guilty pleasure to do it and I get a real thrill from the emails... some of the time. However, it would be nice to think that I could sustain myself on just the blog alone. Now wouldn't that be a thing. Book one is in the mail, two and three are being edited and put together and I am still in the hole for this whole thing. So a few ads can't hurt. Besides, I never see them. Do they bother everyone that much?
Do you regret anything?
Sure I do. There are tons of moments in my life that didn't work out the way I wanted them too. Left turns when it should have been a right, and they kill me every time I think of it. But, I don't dwell on it. I know there was an error and I hope that I learned something from it, but I don't cry at night thinking back on the mountain of screw ups. My biggest regrets are choices that I didn't make. Places, meals, people, careers that I didn't choose and missed out on.
Where is the center of the Danist Universe?
I want to be cleaver with this one. "In the minds of those that read this blog". Actually there is an interpretive center in downtown Ft. Collins, Colorado. There you can meet an animatronic me, buy my books, my music cds (the ones I am getting rid of, not ones I recorded), watch a film of my early years, see the live, musical version of "Daniel in Moscow" which is a collection of my stand up shows put to music. There is a museum of my belongings which has the only scratch and sniff display in the world. It's fun for the whole family.
I know it's been asked before, but how many men and women have you slept with?
A lot. The total number escapes me. It's a lot though. Most of the action taking place in the late 80's and early 90's. At that time, I would say the weekly average is 7 to 10 people per week. A few slow months over... eight years. Do the math.
Do you think you'll ever get married?
No. It's not in the cards for me and let's be honest, do you think there are a lot of women that would be able to put up with me for a life time? I think I am best summed up in the words of a few of my friend's who said, "You're a force of nature with a trail of destruction in your wake" and "You're dick is cursed". I think that pretty much sums it up.
Do you think Tom Cruise can cure depression with vitamins and exercise?
Sure, his own. And to some extent, his children. If he believes it, I'm sure he can do it. His children, if they love him, will be believe it and that should help them over come it as well. As far as Tom heading out on the road to cure people as he comes in contact with them - no. He is too short and his nose is too large for his body. He can't cure depression.
Did you know that Tesla was a bachelor and died alone?
Yes. And I know that his works live on today and that he was run over by a taxi in New York. I would like to think that he focused his energy (pun) on work and not on dating. I think if he had focused half as much energy (ha) on dating he would have been quite the Casanova.
How do you feel about Capital Punishment?
I am for it. I know I have answered this one before. I think we don't use it enough. If you want it to be effective. Use it all the time. Not just for one kind of crime and don't let it take twelve years to get to it. Steal a car, get caught, beheaded two days later. If you are actually caught in the act of a crime, then it should be instantaneous death. If they discover it was you through costly detective work and legal wranglings, then it's a slow painful death. I think that should help the crime rate.
How do you feel about legalized marijuana?
I don't smoke it, I don't care. Pot heads are less than humorous people, but I don't care if people use it. Legal or otherwise. Go for it. What difference does it make in the long term? I wonder if California, which is smoke free, but has legalized marijuana, will reverse it's law and allow pot in bars? In cars? Hmmmmm.
Do you have any special powers?
This wins the award for the most entertaining question I have ever been asked. To put it in context for the readers, it's the only question in this email. It's the only thing in the email period. No name, no nothing. The answer... I can move the sun across the sky from east to west, by pointing my finger at it. I do it everyday. If I die, it will stop moving, so you can never ever come here and disturb my concentration or we will all burn up.
What's the longest amount of time you have gone with food? Sleep?
Food - two days. It was an accident. I just forgot to eat. Sleep - six days. Again, I was too busy to notice that I hadn't slept. I was working two jobs, going to school and I just kept putting it off. It's amazing to think back on that week. It ended with me passing out during my clinicals in an Emergency Room. It didn't go over well with my instructors who thought I was strung out to begin with.
Are you ticklish?
Yes. And I know ways to prevent people from getting to those spots. I am not against hitting someone to prevent a tickling.
MORE TO COME...
This blog is about two or three hours of my day - sometimes more. It's my great guilty pleasure to do it and I get a real thrill from the emails... some of the time. However, it would be nice to think that I could sustain myself on just the blog alone. Now wouldn't that be a thing. Book one is in the mail, two and three are being edited and put together and I am still in the hole for this whole thing. So a few ads can't hurt. Besides, I never see them. Do they bother everyone that much?
Do you regret anything?
Sure I do. There are tons of moments in my life that didn't work out the way I wanted them too. Left turns when it should have been a right, and they kill me every time I think of it. But, I don't dwell on it. I know there was an error and I hope that I learned something from it, but I don't cry at night thinking back on the mountain of screw ups. My biggest regrets are choices that I didn't make. Places, meals, people, careers that I didn't choose and missed out on.
Where is the center of the Danist Universe?
I want to be cleaver with this one. "In the minds of those that read this blog". Actually there is an interpretive center in downtown Ft. Collins, Colorado. There you can meet an animatronic me, buy my books, my music cds (the ones I am getting rid of, not ones I recorded), watch a film of my early years, see the live, musical version of "Daniel in Moscow" which is a collection of my stand up shows put to music. There is a museum of my belongings which has the only scratch and sniff display in the world. It's fun for the whole family.
I know it's been asked before, but how many men and women have you slept with?
A lot. The total number escapes me. It's a lot though. Most of the action taking place in the late 80's and early 90's. At that time, I would say the weekly average is 7 to 10 people per week. A few slow months over... eight years. Do the math.
Do you think you'll ever get married?
No. It's not in the cards for me and let's be honest, do you think there are a lot of women that would be able to put up with me for a life time? I think I am best summed up in the words of a few of my friend's who said, "You're a force of nature with a trail of destruction in your wake" and "You're dick is cursed". I think that pretty much sums it up.
Do you think Tom Cruise can cure depression with vitamins and exercise?
Sure, his own. And to some extent, his children. If he believes it, I'm sure he can do it. His children, if they love him, will be believe it and that should help them over come it as well. As far as Tom heading out on the road to cure people as he comes in contact with them - no. He is too short and his nose is too large for his body. He can't cure depression.
Did you know that Tesla was a bachelor and died alone?
Yes. And I know that his works live on today and that he was run over by a taxi in New York. I would like to think that he focused his energy (pun) on work and not on dating. I think if he had focused half as much energy (ha) on dating he would have been quite the Casanova.
How do you feel about Capital Punishment?
I am for it. I know I have answered this one before. I think we don't use it enough. If you want it to be effective. Use it all the time. Not just for one kind of crime and don't let it take twelve years to get to it. Steal a car, get caught, beheaded two days later. If you are actually caught in the act of a crime, then it should be instantaneous death. If they discover it was you through costly detective work and legal wranglings, then it's a slow painful death. I think that should help the crime rate.
How do you feel about legalized marijuana?
I don't smoke it, I don't care. Pot heads are less than humorous people, but I don't care if people use it. Legal or otherwise. Go for it. What difference does it make in the long term? I wonder if California, which is smoke free, but has legalized marijuana, will reverse it's law and allow pot in bars? In cars? Hmmmmm.
Do you have any special powers?
This wins the award for the most entertaining question I have ever been asked. To put it in context for the readers, it's the only question in this email. It's the only thing in the email period. No name, no nothing. The answer... I can move the sun across the sky from east to west, by pointing my finger at it. I do it everyday. If I die, it will stop moving, so you can never ever come here and disturb my concentration or we will all burn up.
What's the longest amount of time you have gone with food? Sleep?
Food - two days. It was an accident. I just forgot to eat. Sleep - six days. Again, I was too busy to notice that I hadn't slept. I was working two jobs, going to school and I just kept putting it off. It's amazing to think back on that week. It ended with me passing out during my clinicals in an Emergency Room. It didn't go over well with my instructors who thought I was strung out to begin with.
Are you ticklish?
Yes. And I know ways to prevent people from getting to those spots. I am not against hitting someone to prevent a tickling.
MORE TO COME...
posted by Daniel Loomis | 9:36 AM
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