QUESTIONS OF THE WEAK

It has been a long time since the last collection of questions were answered, partly due to the fact that I was being overwhelmed with emails and was sick of reading them. Now, the number of daily emails has reached a managable level and I can read them all again. There are some colorful questions and I am willing to answer them. (note: Don't feel that because I know you that you can wait to ask your questions when I see you, if it's relevent, ask)

What does a Honkey look like?

It's a smaller donkey. A miniature horse with a donkey, gives you a honkey. Not tall enough to ride, not small enough to let it sleep on your bed. OR A southern white man known to drive through black neighborhoods and honk his horn at black girls.

Do you own a honkey?

No, not yet. Not with Heidi still alive. She might look at it as another dog and when it starts to eat hay, it would confuse her. I don't think I want Heidi to feel she can eat hay as well. She already eats every known food source on the farm.

Where do you get a honkey?

I don't think you will see one in a pet store window, but I am sure you can find some ranch on line that will sell them.

Why Omega?

Because it's the furthest letter in the Greek Alphabet from Alpha and Beta. I thought that was cleaver.

Are Omegas those dull people that you see at parties that never talk to anyone?

Some of them sure. If they are at a party, it's not for the same reason that everyone else is there. If you talk to a Beta wallflower, they are constantly scanning the room for something or someone to follow. An Omega is browsing. Looking over the house, the people, content in their own world.

How much do you want for the Porsche?

2500.oo American. It's worth more than that in parts. Hell the wheels on it are 2000 bucks.

Was the man in the (porsche) dream your father?

No.

Do you consider yourself an expert at anything?

Yes, making people believe that I am evil. The same power that many cult leaders have, I have, but reversed. No one that hears me wants to follow me to the desert, snip their balls or drink Kool Aid. My affect is to scare people away. And reading people.

Have you ever failed?

Absolutely. Let me count the ways. However, I am not one to hang on failure the way others might. I like what Edison had to say about failure... "I have no failed, I have sucessfully invented 10, 000 things that don't work." I like that.

Don't you think cock fights are inhumane?

Yes, hence the word origin... inhumane.... not human. Cocks are chickens. There is nothing human about them. If you are referring to the "other" kind of cock fighting. It's best to talk to the other guy and take turns with her. That should eliminate the drama and cruelty and let her focus.

What is Jamoaca Almond Fudge?

It's delicious. Coffee, Toffee, Almonds and Fudge, wrapped up in sugar, cream and waffled cone. Glorious.

How is the construction coming along?

It's at a stand still until dirt can be moved with a tractor. That out of the way, there will be a flurry of activity that will follow. More chicken coops, more chicken moving. Wind breaks for the horses. Still to finish yet... fencing. Brace outfits, hanging gates and rolling out horse wire. Then there is a bathroom door that needs to be pulled out, dry wall put in it's place and some dining room floor issues that are symptomatic of deeper house issues involving the foundation. Then there are two tank stands to build and a sacrfice area to fence in. I should be done with all of this by dinner.

Do you think your criminal past will put you on the government's watch list?

I think anyone who has ever had a speeding ticket will be on that list. That's what they want. Some excuse to know more. The more they know, the less they fear. Information is freedom.

How do you think history will remember your President?

Poorly. Presently he holds the record for the lowest approval rating drop in American President History (well, since they started polling). He went from a 72 percent to a lowly 24 percent. Even those who stood by him are nervous. My favorite thing about him is when he answers a tough question with that "don't you get it?" tone. Example; "Why has press access to the white house been limited?" President (coyly smiling as he tries to remember what he has been told to say...) "We're fighting a war here... That's just what our enemies want... They want the information...". I think history will view him and his entire adminstration as war profiteers and idiots. Which makes this period of American history look very bruised. Let's call it the, not enlightened at all era.

Could you ever marry a man?

He would have to be pretty fucking rich. But I doubt it. I don't have romantic feelings for men, but I could for a couple million. (once an escort, always an escort...)

What if your son wanted to marry a man?

I guess I would view the same way I would view his interest in Soccer, Dinosaurs, eating his own boogers or wanting to live in the fort he made out of the cushions of the couch. It's his thing. ( I don't know if he is interested in any of this )

Do you not support our troops?

I support the armed forces as a good idea. Every society needs one. I also support the postal service, the public works department and other social requirements. What I don't support is an abuse of our armed forces. By using the military for commercial needs we are souring would be soliders from enlisting and that weakens it's presence. Sad, but that's what we are seeing. As far as Subway being there.... come on. It's going to be hard to listen to how hard the soliders had it over there when they come back with four dozen subway cards filled with stamps.

Do you know Kung Fu?

No, I never took it. I did take Tae Kwon Do. I studied Jeet Kun Do and I think everyone knows Tae Bo. A fight is never as structured as martial arts instructors would like them to be. Boxing is my passion.

Are you a gun owner?

I don't officially own any guns. But there are few laying around... They seem to be very helpful with the skunks, wood that is shaped like a man's outline and cans that keep attacking my house.

Has your bad side ever elevated to property damage?

Have I ever burned down a building? No. My destructive side is always on a small scale. It started as a child. I used to love to put a log in a lake or river and pelt it with rocks to try and sink it. That was fun to me. I don't think I will ever get to the point where I will try to sink a large boat with a rock. No.

Why don't you buy some of the buildings in town?

Because I don't have the business accumen to run a gift shop, small diner or cake shop. I would like a bar. But who wouldn't? I would call it the pussy cat lounge and make it swank. No one that lives here would go. This is a Keystone Light drinking town. Keystone and Pussycat just don't seem to mix well.

How long has your brother been in Iraq?

One Marriage, One near marriage and twelve days.

How many people do you really think read your blog?

Presently, maybe 300 hundred. The number dipped when I stopped answering emails. Picky fuckers.

Have you ever thought of writing an inspirational book?

Sure. I sit here preaching about how it's important to be yourself and then I would go off and publish a book that tells you to do as I say and you will be happy. That wouldn't work. There is no such thing as a "self help book" Unless you write for yourself. There is no working philosphy that will apply to two people and be the same. NOT ONE. Those that read those things are looking for answers to questions that they are scared to ask themselves and want an easy answer to make all their confusion go away. They work for a short time, then the structure becomes too much of an inconvience and you fall back into your real life. Not the made up one. Example; set up a diet and try to follow it. a work out regime. Eventually, nature will make you rebel against the limiting structure of it all and make you seek out "change" which is natural. It's that "change" that most people don't understand and it's that "change" that self help books try to squash out. So, no. No book from me.

What other tattoos do you want?

I hate doing this because they are great ideas that people will use....
My birthdate in Roman numerals with a copywrite symbol - on my ass check
Cyranno de Berragac, yet to be designed - arm
ruler to scale - forearm
Steal any of these and I will kill you all.

Don't tattoos hurt?

Not after you have it on. It's not like they are a constant source of pain where you put them. If you have an incredibly LOOOOOOW tolerance to pain, it will hurt. If it's a bit higher, you'll be fine. Some areas of the body can sting, sure. But it's worth it man. WARNING... NO DRINKING before the tattoo... you'll bleed like a stuck pig. Not that I know what a stuck pig bleeds like, but I bet it's messy.

What's wrong with Taz (tasmanian devil)?

As a tattoo? Nothing... two million people can't be wrong.

How's your leg (bee sting)?

Fine, it took two days for the swelling to disappear. And I learned a lot about Nazis.

Did you really pee on your leg?

Yes, what of it??? Let's see you wrap your dick around your leg to pee on your calf.. punk!

So if everything is so homogenized, where can you go?

There are places on the map that have been overlooked by big business for a lack of economic viability. Go there. Tuva, Columbia, Yukon Territory, Finland, a greater part of Russia, North Dakota, Pulau...

Do you think your town will get enveloped in the system?

Yes. Sadly, there will be a time when the number of people in town will attract "the man", it happens... what can you do?

Heat? What does Washington state know about heat?

Mt. St. Helens. What kinda heat you got down there in Colorado?

What song are you referring to (and the man sang, nothing gonna change my world)?

It's Rufus Wainwright's version of the Beattle's tune, "across the universe"

Now you don't like Special needs children?

I don't know if that is a question, but to answer it anyway... no. Is there such a thing as a child that has special needs? Children have needs, some need more than others, but they are not special needs. They are just more needs. Do I like those children anymore than others, no.

I think you have some control issues?

Don't we all. And... I have a joke... Knock, knock? Who's there? Control freak, now you say control freak! I love that joke.

Control... is an illusion. There are really only three things that you have a modicum of control over... Your health, Your direct safety and honesty. Outside of that, everything is at the whim and fancy of nature, fate, forces that can not be seen. Nothing you know is in your control. Stop trying.

You don't think much of the government do you?

No. I don't fear the government I can see. I fear the government that I can not see.

Have you ever hit a girl?

Yes.

Have you ever sexually assualted a girl?

Not that wasn't in play.

Would you kill someone that raped your daughter, sister or wife?

No, punishment is best served, in my mind, in the long, slow agony of torture. Death is quick. I prefer to let the mind fester in it's own imagination and fear. That is worth it too me. However, those that rape, no matter who it is, are no longer human... they're human guinea pigs and should be treated as such.

Were you abused as a child?

Not in my mind, but I'm sure there are those that would argue that I was on the recieving end of some serious shit.

Where did you get your facts about Canada?

I read a book, checked on line and have asked every Canadian related questions to formulate my opinion. Why, was I wrong?

You don't like veterens?

It amazes me how easy it is to find alternate motives to a single piece of writing. There is no such thing as a "12er". It's humor... Read it again.

Who is Terrence Trent D'Arby?

He sang, "wishing well".

What is your favorite Micheal Bolton song?

Having to choose.... When I'm back on my feet again.

What is your favorite song?

This changes from day to day. Presently, I am liking a song that I don't know the name of, I do know that one of the lyrics is... "Listening to the rhythum of the pouring rain, telling me just what a fool I've been.... " or something like that. Find it for me...

Enough oral sex!! Are you crazy?

I am assuming that you have had oral sex on this one. If you have, and you have had it done TO you well, then you know that after orgasm there is a brief period of "slow down! slow down! sensitive! sensitive!" that follows. Crazy? You bet.

What would you consider enough?

Apparently I don't have a limit on how many questions I will answer...... Enough? I don't like idle chit chat filled with trivial information.

Why do you hate Rennies?

I don't know. Perhaps because there seem to be waaaaay too much hippocracy in their lifestyle.

Does this also apply to Wiccans?

No, I don't have anything against other, so called, Magic users. Especially those that are 8th level or higher. Wiccans are fine, they don't seem to be preachy, they don't have telethons and they don't seem ridiculous.

Didn't your school have hicks?

Yes, we did. There were a lot of urban cowboys that were born. Kids that owned trucks, wore cowboy hats and loved Travis Tritt. I didn't mean to exclude them in my rant about conformity.

Were you one of the "sluts" in high school?

Oh Yes. However, I was not the seedy slut. I was a successful slut. My experiences were a bit beyond the friday night fondle in the parent's bedroom at a friend's house. I was mixing and mingling with porn people and escorts. Slut. Big slut. Nice to meet you.

Do you have any souffle recipes?

No.

What is in your spinach salad?

Baby spinach. Almond slivers. Tomatoes. Feta Cheese diced from a block. Balsamic Vinegar. Occasionally.. Pickled Asparagus.

Do you know how much your writing moves me?

No.

What kind of swinger are you?

Full on. Semi-retired.

Are you bisexual?

Yes. I think it's called, bi-situational. Which is to say, I don't seek out men, but I have slept with them and will. I don't think it's any different than sex with women. Bisexuals, I think can date both men and women. Something I don't think I can do. (unless they are rich...)

Does your family know about your lifestyle?

Yes. I think so. We haven't really talked about it and in this family, the more deviant the behavior the more entertaining it is. WE ARE FREAKS. There is nothing that I do that compares to the rest of my family.

What if you found out that you liked someone you were sleeping with and they were married?

That happens. I feel in love with a girl that my girlfriend and I had a threesome with, but it wasn't the sex that made me fall in love with her. The relationship with my girlfriend ended shortly after and the girl got married two weeks later.

What if they fell in love with you?

These things are just out there. You never know what will happen, but you have to have faith in honesty and communication. If it happens, which it has, play it on the level. I can't help the whole them in love with me thing.

Have all of your relationships been swinging relationships?

No.

What kinds of swinging do you like to do?

All of it with the exception of cross dressing, animals, children, dead things, body waste, drugs, simulated rape scenerios with first timers. Which, I guess technically means, almost all of it.

How did you find about swinging?

A couple flirted with me. The husband asked me if I thought his wife was hot and if I thought it would fun to fuck her. We were in a bar.

Where do you go?

Well, OHIO if you are really interested. I would just move there. There are web sites. But the best way is swing clubs. There are about 100 in America. Some are actual clubs, most are people's homes. Some of the clubs are just clubs. As in book club, movie club, etc. People that are on a special list with other couples that meet at hotels and go crazy. The hotel staff love these nights. If you want more information, go to a porn shop, pick up a swing magazine and find out what you can do locally. Have fun....

Why is it so much for single men?

Because they are so desperate, they will pay it.

If swing couples never break up, how come you aren't with your old swing partners?

We broke up over other issues that had nothing to do with our sex lives. Usually drugs, distance or need.

What about AIDS?

I get my test results back on Tuesday.

Are you worried about diseases?

Should I be? Everyone says their clean, but they are probably not. But at this stage in the game, who cares.

What does the husband think of you fucking his wife?

He seems to like it. She seems to like it more.

Does he ever touch you?

Not every time, no.

Have you ever regretted any partners?

Absolutely. I have regretted many things. Nothing that would affect my attitude.

Why don't the couples just divorce?

Why should they? Apparently their love for each other supercedes their sexual desires. Apparently yours does not.

THANK YOU ALL. WONDERFUL... WHEW.