when beauty gets a headache
If you have never seen the Oregon coast I suggest you get here as soon as you possibly can and then feel free to curl up and die. It will be a peaceful passing for you, I promise. The vision of the Oregon coast can bring you that kind of peace.
I shall start my description of the coast by saying that "The Goonies" was filmed on the Oregon coast, so if you need a good staring point, that would be it. For those of you that have not seen the Oregon coast, this is for you....
Rain forest. Thick, lush, green rain forest. Filled with pines, ferns, and other lush shrubbery that absolutely dominates the towering mountains of the coast line. You can't see the tops of these mountains as there is a permanent fog bank that lives just below the summit of each mountain. The mountains meet in pristine river valleys filled with rain water and what appears to be a river of fog floating just above it. Most of the streams become waterfalls every forty feet or so, and they are far superior to the wimpy little waterfalls of Hawaii.
The streams flow down from the mountains and straight into the ocean. From the edge of the mountains to the ocean can be a distance of twenty feet or half a mile, but both sizes of landscapes are delicious in their construct. If the mountain falls straight into the ocean, huge cliffs are created and the rentless waves have crashed into them for centuries, carving hollowed out "water spouts" that channel the power of the incoming waves and send them skyward with each powerful set. It's quite a sight to see. If the mountain is set back a ways from the ocean, then you have acres of squeaky sand to appreciate. It's incredibly soft to the touch and is so fine that when you step on it, it "farts". These beaches can run for miles in either direction and there is no hope of actually seeing the beginning or end of it. You can walk or jog for hours without crossing one rock.
When possible - sea lions, seals, and other sea creatures will gather around to entertain you. It's not their ture intention, but you can pretend. It would seem that their common nature and design is to keep you captivated for hours. They know this is the Oregon coast, that's why they moved here. Seals know good oceanside real estate when they see it. But sea lions and seals mean sharks are hovering around just off shore, but the water is too cold for you to get into anyway, so shark attacks here are very rare. And again, the sharks know this is the Oregon coast, they like to keep the peace too. They wouldn't want to devalue their time share by attacking locals.
When I hear that I get to come to the Oregon coast I get pretty giddy. It's where I want to have my ashes spread when I die. It's that meaningful to me. I have the beach picked out - Oswald park. (If you ever get the chance - go!) AND NOW, I am back.... And the ocean has decided to reclaim control over the coast line. It's as if the ocean has had enough of the salt water taffy stores and the bike rental kiosks.
40 foot waves. 60 miles per hour winds. NOT ONE SEAL IN SIGHT! If you spread my ashes now, you'd be wearing them with the first wave and there would be a good chance that you would be joining me with the next wave.
It's easy to forget that we didn't create this place, we just found it and tried to make it our own. We put up slick little houses with fireplaces in them, We screw next to those fires and have the sexy Oregon coast in the background and pretend that we are one with nature. Rarely do we screw without a window in between us and the coast, but it's the best we can hope for. With these present conditions, it would be the last nookie you would ever have. However, it might be the best nookie you ever had - if you have a fear fetish. The ocean has decided that it has had enough and it is going to wipe the slate clean of these dens of debauchery. A 40 foot wave can remove any stain, even one as tough as our vanity.
The tour ends here. I have a few days of rest before the next big bounce. The next tour--- Canada and Europe. That is as far away from the recently cleansed Oregon coast as you can get. While I'm gone, make a trip to see this place, don't stay too long, but take in what you can and then leave with a happy heart.
I hope that these waves can remove the memories of angry, bitter, crazy, drunk women that I have met on this tour. If they can reclaim the side of a mountain and entire towns, then they can erase every type of ugliness that our species can come up with.
I shall start my description of the coast by saying that "The Goonies" was filmed on the Oregon coast, so if you need a good staring point, that would be it. For those of you that have not seen the Oregon coast, this is for you....
Rain forest. Thick, lush, green rain forest. Filled with pines, ferns, and other lush shrubbery that absolutely dominates the towering mountains of the coast line. You can't see the tops of these mountains as there is a permanent fog bank that lives just below the summit of each mountain. The mountains meet in pristine river valleys filled with rain water and what appears to be a river of fog floating just above it. Most of the streams become waterfalls every forty feet or so, and they are far superior to the wimpy little waterfalls of Hawaii.
The streams flow down from the mountains and straight into the ocean. From the edge of the mountains to the ocean can be a distance of twenty feet or half a mile, but both sizes of landscapes are delicious in their construct. If the mountain falls straight into the ocean, huge cliffs are created and the rentless waves have crashed into them for centuries, carving hollowed out "water spouts" that channel the power of the incoming waves and send them skyward with each powerful set. It's quite a sight to see. If the mountain is set back a ways from the ocean, then you have acres of squeaky sand to appreciate. It's incredibly soft to the touch and is so fine that when you step on it, it "farts". These beaches can run for miles in either direction and there is no hope of actually seeing the beginning or end of it. You can walk or jog for hours without crossing one rock.
When possible - sea lions, seals, and other sea creatures will gather around to entertain you. It's not their ture intention, but you can pretend. It would seem that their common nature and design is to keep you captivated for hours. They know this is the Oregon coast, that's why they moved here. Seals know good oceanside real estate when they see it. But sea lions and seals mean sharks are hovering around just off shore, but the water is too cold for you to get into anyway, so shark attacks here are very rare. And again, the sharks know this is the Oregon coast, they like to keep the peace too. They wouldn't want to devalue their time share by attacking locals.
When I hear that I get to come to the Oregon coast I get pretty giddy. It's where I want to have my ashes spread when I die. It's that meaningful to me. I have the beach picked out - Oswald park. (If you ever get the chance - go!) AND NOW, I am back.... And the ocean has decided to reclaim control over the coast line. It's as if the ocean has had enough of the salt water taffy stores and the bike rental kiosks.
40 foot waves. 60 miles per hour winds. NOT ONE SEAL IN SIGHT! If you spread my ashes now, you'd be wearing them with the first wave and there would be a good chance that you would be joining me with the next wave.
It's easy to forget that we didn't create this place, we just found it and tried to make it our own. We put up slick little houses with fireplaces in them, We screw next to those fires and have the sexy Oregon coast in the background and pretend that we are one with nature. Rarely do we screw without a window in between us and the coast, but it's the best we can hope for. With these present conditions, it would be the last nookie you would ever have. However, it might be the best nookie you ever had - if you have a fear fetish. The ocean has decided that it has had enough and it is going to wipe the slate clean of these dens of debauchery. A 40 foot wave can remove any stain, even one as tough as our vanity.
The tour ends here. I have a few days of rest before the next big bounce. The next tour--- Canada and Europe. That is as far away from the recently cleansed Oregon coast as you can get. While I'm gone, make a trip to see this place, don't stay too long, but take in what you can and then leave with a happy heart.
I hope that these waves can remove the memories of angry, bitter, crazy, drunk women that I have met on this tour. If they can reclaim the side of a mountain and entire towns, then they can erase every type of ugliness that our species can come up with.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 9:15 AM
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