again with the sharks
Right before the now infamous, September 11th, or as we like to call it, 9 - 11, there had been a rash of shark attacks off the secure beaches of America. It seems that not only were we allowing terrorists into the country unchecked, but we were allowing deadly sharks to eat helpless swimmers at their leisure. In defense of the government, we didn't have a department of homeland security yet and George Bush and his staff were busy with other things and couldn't address the shark thing.... or...
If you really think about it, sharks have always been in the ocean. Previous administrations, at the behest of smart, sciencey-type people, created special areas of the ocean and special regulations, all for the safe preservation of the sharks. This worked for years and years. A few people were bit, some eaten, but that is to be expected. It is, as it turns out, their world, not ours. We, as humans, can only own 25 percent of the total area of the world, the sharks have up to 75 percent, so I think they win this one. So a few dead surfers a year, we can live with that. Until...
It turns out that there is some much needed oil at the bottom of the ocean and there is a need to place some "waste" somewhere that won't get in the way. Who would want such a thing you ask? Well, think about it. Someone who needs to increase the value of their company's stock. Sort of speak. Well, in order to reverse a national protected species act and move protected grounds, it takes an act of congress, in order for congress to do such a thing, they need to know that they aren't going to look hard on the environment when it comes to election time, so it's best to ask the people of their states what THEY think they should do. So, in order to get the people of said state to allow a politician to vote for something that is obviously anti-conservationalist, they need the people to be on board. Generally, when you want to convince someone of something you can do it in one of two ways; make them see the logic of it, or make them emotionally involved in it. When using logic, facts are laid out and good things get done. In this case, telling people that big business wants to drill for oil or to sink waste, isn't going to get the agenda through. No, it's better to convince the people that the area that is needed is full of death. Scary, man eating death. Death so foul, that we dare not show you the photos or share the tales. Death that feels like deadly death with a twist of lemon. Ouchy death. Stingy, needles, asprin-ain't-gonna-cut-it death.
SO, get the people convinced that sharks are a threat to national security and are somehow bringing in dirty bombs and you have people willing to let congress overturn some minor environmental issues. The people think they are doing a good thing and big business makes some money. It all works out. Even for the sharks. We can't tell the sharks to move. And what difference does it make whether they eat your cousin, Jimmy or a 50 gallon drum of toxic waste?
The sharks returned to the news and again, an airplane accident follows. However, this one involved a Walton kid, so I doubt we will see a charity concert for either the victim's family or the people that lived around the mountain that was crashed into. One of the heads of the super secret society of Wal Mart, died miserably. His little plane made it's way into the side of a mountain. In a very Wal Marty way, he did manage to kill some trees and start a fire, scarring the side of that mountain forever. I hope that the department of homeland security sees that wal mart funded this terrorist and will wage a full on war against the people that harbored him and supported him. I will proudly wear a magnetic ribbon on my car for that war effort.
If you really think about it, sharks have always been in the ocean. Previous administrations, at the behest of smart, sciencey-type people, created special areas of the ocean and special regulations, all for the safe preservation of the sharks. This worked for years and years. A few people were bit, some eaten, but that is to be expected. It is, as it turns out, their world, not ours. We, as humans, can only own 25 percent of the total area of the world, the sharks have up to 75 percent, so I think they win this one. So a few dead surfers a year, we can live with that. Until...
It turns out that there is some much needed oil at the bottom of the ocean and there is a need to place some "waste" somewhere that won't get in the way. Who would want such a thing you ask? Well, think about it. Someone who needs to increase the value of their company's stock. Sort of speak. Well, in order to reverse a national protected species act and move protected grounds, it takes an act of congress, in order for congress to do such a thing, they need to know that they aren't going to look hard on the environment when it comes to election time, so it's best to ask the people of their states what THEY think they should do. So, in order to get the people of said state to allow a politician to vote for something that is obviously anti-conservationalist, they need the people to be on board. Generally, when you want to convince someone of something you can do it in one of two ways; make them see the logic of it, or make them emotionally involved in it. When using logic, facts are laid out and good things get done. In this case, telling people that big business wants to drill for oil or to sink waste, isn't going to get the agenda through. No, it's better to convince the people that the area that is needed is full of death. Scary, man eating death. Death so foul, that we dare not show you the photos or share the tales. Death that feels like deadly death with a twist of lemon. Ouchy death. Stingy, needles, asprin-ain't-gonna-cut-it death.
SO, get the people convinced that sharks are a threat to national security and are somehow bringing in dirty bombs and you have people willing to let congress overturn some minor environmental issues. The people think they are doing a good thing and big business makes some money. It all works out. Even for the sharks. We can't tell the sharks to move. And what difference does it make whether they eat your cousin, Jimmy or a 50 gallon drum of toxic waste?
The sharks returned to the news and again, an airplane accident follows. However, this one involved a Walton kid, so I doubt we will see a charity concert for either the victim's family or the people that lived around the mountain that was crashed into. One of the heads of the super secret society of Wal Mart, died miserably. His little plane made it's way into the side of a mountain. In a very Wal Marty way, he did manage to kill some trees and start a fire, scarring the side of that mountain forever. I hope that the department of homeland security sees that wal mart funded this terrorist and will wage a full on war against the people that harbored him and supported him. I will proudly wear a magnetic ribbon on my car for that war effort.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 8:20 AM
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