requested #2
Reader: All this talk about sex... you think you know so much... what are the worst experiences?
Me: Those remarkably bad ones out weigh the good ones. But this is true for everyone. For every good lover you have, you will have two or three or four bad ones. In my case, that ratio is more 1:10. The worst of the worst...
I have no idea why I did this, but when I was about 18 years old, I was willing to anything for anyone that wanted to fuck me. It didn't matter what they looked like or what the circumstances were. It was a terrible habit and I had my fair share of drives home going, "I can't believe I just did that!" They were awful. In this case, I was willing to go home with a girl that lived at home with overbearing parents. She was rich and the house she lived in was quite a castle. In order for me to get into the house, I had to get in the trunk of her car and be driven on to the "lot" and stay in the trunk until the parents went to bed and the coast was clear. This whole process took three hours. The father came into the garage twice to look around for me, he knew there was someone but he never checked the trunk. Idiot. However, it would have been salvation for what was to happen next.
I haven't mentioned that this girl was not my type at all. If it wasn't for the cartons of smokes and periodic stipend, I don't think I would have been as willing to overlook the obvious flaws. Yes, I would go home with anyone, but not ANYONE. I had minimal standards and she didn't meet them.
The crawl through the kitchen to avoid a motion sensor and the crawl up the stairs to go "around the parent's bedroom" and then back down a back set of stairs to a basement to her world. She was a quiet girl which meant it was going to be weird and it started at hello. First thing.. she slapped me and started calling me names. It got worse. Eventually, after some heavy bondage and some near death grapples, I think we fucked. Terrible business. The best part was leaving. I had to sneak out of a house, across four acres of highly protected landscaping and then two miles or so down a road to my car, which I had no idea where it was, because I didn't drive here or see the route we had taken.
It was morning when I found my car, drove home smelling of bad sex and bruised. Now here's the worst part. I was willing to do this four more times for the money.
That is the worst. There are others, but I dare not think of them or I will cry.
Me: Those remarkably bad ones out weigh the good ones. But this is true for everyone. For every good lover you have, you will have two or three or four bad ones. In my case, that ratio is more 1:10. The worst of the worst...
I have no idea why I did this, but when I was about 18 years old, I was willing to anything for anyone that wanted to fuck me. It didn't matter what they looked like or what the circumstances were. It was a terrible habit and I had my fair share of drives home going, "I can't believe I just did that!" They were awful. In this case, I was willing to go home with a girl that lived at home with overbearing parents. She was rich and the house she lived in was quite a castle. In order for me to get into the house, I had to get in the trunk of her car and be driven on to the "lot" and stay in the trunk until the parents went to bed and the coast was clear. This whole process took three hours. The father came into the garage twice to look around for me, he knew there was someone but he never checked the trunk. Idiot. However, it would have been salvation for what was to happen next.
I haven't mentioned that this girl was not my type at all. If it wasn't for the cartons of smokes and periodic stipend, I don't think I would have been as willing to overlook the obvious flaws. Yes, I would go home with anyone, but not ANYONE. I had minimal standards and she didn't meet them.
The crawl through the kitchen to avoid a motion sensor and the crawl up the stairs to go "around the parent's bedroom" and then back down a back set of stairs to a basement to her world. She was a quiet girl which meant it was going to be weird and it started at hello. First thing.. she slapped me and started calling me names. It got worse. Eventually, after some heavy bondage and some near death grapples, I think we fucked. Terrible business. The best part was leaving. I had to sneak out of a house, across four acres of highly protected landscaping and then two miles or so down a road to my car, which I had no idea where it was, because I didn't drive here or see the route we had taken.
It was morning when I found my car, drove home smelling of bad sex and bruised. Now here's the worst part. I was willing to do this four more times for the money.
That is the worst. There are others, but I dare not think of them or I will cry.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 10:44 AM
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