thank you... both of you
I apologize. I have purposefully not posted in a while because I was feeling sorry for myself. After exactly four days of having the Donation button up. Only two.. (one, two) people donated anything. That hurt and it zapped my motivation. I got a lot of emails from people saying, "I'm here for you" and "what can I do to help" or "you know I will do anything", but none of them touched the button. I know both people that did, the rest of you cut me to the bone.
At any other time, this really wouldn't have bothered me. But lately people have been promising, offering, or telling me one thing, and then very quickly, backing out of it. I was getting tired of being dragged along and having my hopes built up only to be dropped suddenly. The real bummer was the loss of time. When waiting for one person to do what they said they were going to do, I lost valuable time working towards finding real assistance. It would seem that I needed a harsh reminder that, "actions speak louder than words." It was a tough week that way.
I was so bent out of shape, that I had to stop talking to a good friend because their actions and their daily comments to me were two totally different things and I couldn't handle any more of it.
So, yes, I was feeling sorry for myself and I took out on the readers. However, there were still two people that did make donations and they shouldn't be made to suffer. I had to remember that their generosity showed that there were people that did appreciate and their actions were genuine. I also know that many of the Danists are hard up for cash themselves and can't afford to give. My hard luck issues aren't anywhere as bad as many people that email me daily. My financial woes are nothing compared to the strain that some people see. It took a while for me to burn off the "why me?" attitude and so now - I am back. You cheap, selfish pricks.
20 Days to go. Still no bike, no helmet, no gear. The tour route and the schedule change every day and I am going blind looking at blood red yarn on the wall map and the messy dry erase board that looks more and more like a two year old did the scribing. When not staring lovingly at my tour, my days are spent trying to find financing and the nights are spent working the local comedy circuit. And thank the gods for the comedy. It's been a very nice salve to rub on the burn from the corporate financial dealings. Their souls are dark and questionable and I'm not sure we can justify... ...It's been challenging. The hidden gem in all this was discovering that I earned more money last week doing JUST comedy than I would have if I worked the day job. Had I still been working the day job, I would have never been able to make it to any of the shows. I would have lost money and TIME. I don't have to get up at four in the morning. I slowly crawl into my day now. No rush, no rush hour. No transportation issues. With the day job dominating my day, there is no blog, no late-night money making comedy and there wouldn't be the time I need to race around preparing for the bike trip. Losing the day job was a blessing. I would have never known that at the time. I must remember to be patient with set backs that set me back a step or two. Sometimes they turn out to be three steps forward.
It's amazing how much opens up to you when you give your ego a rest and do the work. I would never have seen as much local comedy work as I have if I had maintained my holier-than-thou status toward low paying comedy shows. Keeping my mouth shut and just accepting that I can not WILL myself into a prosperous future has shown itself to be the best policy at the moment. By taking work that I would have normally passed on because I didn't think it was worthy of me, I have created enough buzz to create even more work that is. One "worthy" show only pays you once. Ten "unworthy" shows pay you forever. I just had to have the patience to wait for it. There is no longer an unworthy show. I no longer book myself based on worthiness. A good waitress doesn't abandon an order because she doesn't think the customer will tip. She does the job, and moves on to the next table. If she lets one table ruin her attitude, she won't get any tips. You must move past your ego.
So I am back. Here to entertain. As humble as always.
At any other time, this really wouldn't have bothered me. But lately people have been promising, offering, or telling me one thing, and then very quickly, backing out of it. I was getting tired of being dragged along and having my hopes built up only to be dropped suddenly. The real bummer was the loss of time. When waiting for one person to do what they said they were going to do, I lost valuable time working towards finding real assistance. It would seem that I needed a harsh reminder that, "actions speak louder than words." It was a tough week that way.
I was so bent out of shape, that I had to stop talking to a good friend because their actions and their daily comments to me were two totally different things and I couldn't handle any more of it.
So, yes, I was feeling sorry for myself and I took out on the readers. However, there were still two people that did make donations and they shouldn't be made to suffer. I had to remember that their generosity showed that there were people that did appreciate and their actions were genuine. I also know that many of the Danists are hard up for cash themselves and can't afford to give. My hard luck issues aren't anywhere as bad as many people that email me daily. My financial woes are nothing compared to the strain that some people see. It took a while for me to burn off the "why me?" attitude and so now - I am back. You cheap, selfish pricks.
20 Days to go. Still no bike, no helmet, no gear. The tour route and the schedule change every day and I am going blind looking at blood red yarn on the wall map and the messy dry erase board that looks more and more like a two year old did the scribing. When not staring lovingly at my tour, my days are spent trying to find financing and the nights are spent working the local comedy circuit. And thank the gods for the comedy. It's been a very nice salve to rub on the burn from the corporate financial dealings. Their souls are dark and questionable and I'm not sure we can justify... ...It's been challenging. The hidden gem in all this was discovering that I earned more money last week doing JUST comedy than I would have if I worked the day job. Had I still been working the day job, I would have never been able to make it to any of the shows. I would have lost money and TIME. I don't have to get up at four in the morning. I slowly crawl into my day now. No rush, no rush hour. No transportation issues. With the day job dominating my day, there is no blog, no late-night money making comedy and there wouldn't be the time I need to race around preparing for the bike trip. Losing the day job was a blessing. I would have never known that at the time. I must remember to be patient with set backs that set me back a step or two. Sometimes they turn out to be three steps forward.
It's amazing how much opens up to you when you give your ego a rest and do the work. I would never have seen as much local comedy work as I have if I had maintained my holier-than-thou status toward low paying comedy shows. Keeping my mouth shut and just accepting that I can not WILL myself into a prosperous future has shown itself to be the best policy at the moment. By taking work that I would have normally passed on because I didn't think it was worthy of me, I have created enough buzz to create even more work that is. One "worthy" show only pays you once. Ten "unworthy" shows pay you forever. I just had to have the patience to wait for it. There is no longer an unworthy show. I no longer book myself based on worthiness. A good waitress doesn't abandon an order because she doesn't think the customer will tip. She does the job, and moves on to the next table. If she lets one table ruin her attitude, she won't get any tips. You must move past your ego.
So I am back. Here to entertain. As humble as always.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 6:34 PM
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