keira nightly is the sister of the son of the devil, superman
I feel slack and I need to tighten up my film reviews before they get a way from me. I enjoy these reviews and actually thought about trying to see if a local paper would pick me up as a film reviewer. Of course, you can't say things like, "Bruckheimer should have his entrails drawn out, set on fire, and then pissed on for making this shit." and expect a newspaper to jump on it. So perhaps this venue is perfect for my talents. By the way, should you want any info on a movie or the industry, just ask.
Anyway, here's an update...
Superman - I can't believe I am saying this, Bryan Singer should have his candy-ass drawn and quartered for directing this one. It's a two and a half hour love letter from Bryan Singer (who is a huge fan) to his Superman. Bryan Singer couldn't have shown his love for this man any deeper if he had run on the set and blown Superman in each scene. It's that sweet. It's a lot like the chick from Crodile Dundee. There isn't a scene in the movie where she isn't saying something like, "You're amazing Mick" or "I'm always safe when I'm with you". Written, directed and staring, Mick Dundee. Bryan Singer loves Superman a bit more, but his film isn't as funny.
Superman was a huge let down. Of course, I was a huge fan of the Chris Reeve's films so I carry a bias with me. My personal feelings aside, Bradon Routh did a great job as Superman and the rest of the cast was excellent as well. The error in this film was story. Singer really tried to incorporate every Superman trait he could think of into this film and make each trait a story line, this destroyed the quality of the main story and made it suck. Plain and simple. The acting was great, the look was great. The story was shit. Pure supershit. Not even Superman could save this one.
An Inconvenient Truth - Perfect. It's not as preachy as I thought it would be. And Al Gore wasn't as hard to listen to as I thought he would be. This film was wonderful and I doubt that many of you that see it will be able to walk away not feeling a bit ashamed or that you need to be doing more. Al Gore was wonderful in this film. For some reasaon, the best part of the film was when you see Al Gore going through the airport like a normal person without any security or fan fare. He seems human after all those years of political life where he was soulless. I think it's when he takes off his shoes in security that this point hits home with me. The film is worth going to a theater to see. It's not entertainment, know that before you go.
A Prairie Home Companion - Ahhhh. I have been a huge fan of this show since the long nights of my childhood in Twisp, Washington. I lived in a basement bedroom and had only an AM radio to keep me company. It was on this tiny clock radio that I first heard A Prairie Home Companion and I have adored it ever since.
The film itself - Enjoyable... For a Robert Altman film. He's not a great director and will never be. But his love for letting the actors run the film actually aided in this movie as you can tell each character needed space to work to keep the "feel" of the show there. It worked, but Altman doesn't deserve credit for telling his cast to, "run along and play" like a annoyed mother who wants the kids out of the house.
I love Garrison Keillor (he's one of my lifetime heroes) so this film touched me a lot. Kevin Kline, Virginia Madsen, Woody Harrelson and Meryl Streep all did outstanding jobs with their roles. Lindsey Lohan was the only sour note of the film, but that's to be expected, she's Lindsey Lohan. Worth seeing in the theater, but wait until it comes out on basic cable.
Cars - Pass. Entertaining idea, but that's about it. I guess I wanted more from the film in the story, but it was the exact same story that you always see and it bothered me that it was so predictable. The saving grace are two Italian cars in the film. Their presence was worth while.
The Omen - Watch the original. The remake is warmer and cuddlier than the original and you are pulling for this Damian to kill his parents and rule the world. I guess I like the fact that the original the kid was spookier looking too. This kid looked like a casting call dream. Too cute to be the son of the prince of darkness. Wait until you need a good movie to have on in the background during a wild night of angry sex.
Nacho Libre - The director had one good movie in him and he already made it. Sadly, this film watches like a fancier Napoleon Dynomite with more motion and sound in it. Jack Black is Jack Black. The nun is hot. The scenery is as lifeless as you would expect from Mexico. The film is worth seeing on home video.
Sadly, the director's fate is the same as David O Selsnick's after he made Gone With the Wind. Nothing after will ever compare after that and why try. Good try though. I like the fact that the nun are hot.
The Devil Wears Prada - Excellent. Meryl Streep is beyond perfect in this role and it shines all around her. Without her, it's a cheep Swimming With Sharks knock off. The other chick has nice brown eyes, but that's about all you can say about the rest of the film. Meryl is this film and you should see it. There is a zen philosphy and a hard lesson to be learned in fashion and it was a nice twist to see that in this film.
Pirates of the Caribbean - I can not believe that this film was made or that Johnny I-am-the-hermaphrodite-that-every-bisexual-confused-lonely-female-wets-herself-over-
thinking-that-they-have-a-shot-at-getting-him Depp participated in it. He's usually a pretty safe bet for a film (The Libertine being one of a few exceptions) but not this time. This film was a two and a half hour mess. No understandable beginning, middle, or ending. In fact, it had no ending and just a bunch of middles that don't add up to anything close to a story. This film watches like a bunch of retellings of the same story but from the differing creative eyes of those involved.
Here are some things to remember. One - Keira Knightley, whom I tore apart in Domino, was awful in this film as well. She should stick to Merchant Ivory movies or kiddie porn. Everyone else you wanted to see from the first film is back in this film. Geoffery Rush is back for a brief cameo at the end which is meant to indicate that he will play a larger part in the third film. They got back Admiral Norrington, the quasi-bad guy/good guy in the first film. This time around, he has a new role as a bum hell-bent on seeking revenge. The film has a new British Snob bad guy. In a odd twist, the film makers want to make the East India Trading Company the bad guy and not England. I'm not sure why. It doesn't work in this film at all. The film is just shit. Don't even rent it. Wait until all three movies are out in a box DVD collection and then wait until they are available at a garage sale in a box marked "two for a nickel" and then buy them. Then wait until you're paralyzed and without any reason to live. Then watch this film... It should ease your passing.
So that's it. Those are the films as I see it. You can't always expect a movie to be great but if you have M&M's, there, it should make the film tolerable enough to sit through. At least until the M&M's are gone. In the case of Pirates of the Caribbean, you might need to bring a two pound bag.
Anyway, here's an update...
Superman - I can't believe I am saying this, Bryan Singer should have his candy-ass drawn and quartered for directing this one. It's a two and a half hour love letter from Bryan Singer (who is a huge fan) to his Superman. Bryan Singer couldn't have shown his love for this man any deeper if he had run on the set and blown Superman in each scene. It's that sweet. It's a lot like the chick from Crodile Dundee. There isn't a scene in the movie where she isn't saying something like, "You're amazing Mick" or "I'm always safe when I'm with you". Written, directed and staring, Mick Dundee. Bryan Singer loves Superman a bit more, but his film isn't as funny.
Superman was a huge let down. Of course, I was a huge fan of the Chris Reeve's films so I carry a bias with me. My personal feelings aside, Bradon Routh did a great job as Superman and the rest of the cast was excellent as well. The error in this film was story. Singer really tried to incorporate every Superman trait he could think of into this film and make each trait a story line, this destroyed the quality of the main story and made it suck. Plain and simple. The acting was great, the look was great. The story was shit. Pure supershit. Not even Superman could save this one.
An Inconvenient Truth - Perfect. It's not as preachy as I thought it would be. And Al Gore wasn't as hard to listen to as I thought he would be. This film was wonderful and I doubt that many of you that see it will be able to walk away not feeling a bit ashamed or that you need to be doing more. Al Gore was wonderful in this film. For some reasaon, the best part of the film was when you see Al Gore going through the airport like a normal person without any security or fan fare. He seems human after all those years of political life where he was soulless. I think it's when he takes off his shoes in security that this point hits home with me. The film is worth going to a theater to see. It's not entertainment, know that before you go.
A Prairie Home Companion - Ahhhh. I have been a huge fan of this show since the long nights of my childhood in Twisp, Washington. I lived in a basement bedroom and had only an AM radio to keep me company. It was on this tiny clock radio that I first heard A Prairie Home Companion and I have adored it ever since.
The film itself - Enjoyable... For a Robert Altman film. He's not a great director and will never be. But his love for letting the actors run the film actually aided in this movie as you can tell each character needed space to work to keep the "feel" of the show there. It worked, but Altman doesn't deserve credit for telling his cast to, "run along and play" like a annoyed mother who wants the kids out of the house.
I love Garrison Keillor (he's one of my lifetime heroes) so this film touched me a lot. Kevin Kline, Virginia Madsen, Woody Harrelson and Meryl Streep all did outstanding jobs with their roles. Lindsey Lohan was the only sour note of the film, but that's to be expected, she's Lindsey Lohan. Worth seeing in the theater, but wait until it comes out on basic cable.
Cars - Pass. Entertaining idea, but that's about it. I guess I wanted more from the film in the story, but it was the exact same story that you always see and it bothered me that it was so predictable. The saving grace are two Italian cars in the film. Their presence was worth while.
The Omen - Watch the original. The remake is warmer and cuddlier than the original and you are pulling for this Damian to kill his parents and rule the world. I guess I like the fact that the original the kid was spookier looking too. This kid looked like a casting call dream. Too cute to be the son of the prince of darkness. Wait until you need a good movie to have on in the background during a wild night of angry sex.
Nacho Libre - The director had one good movie in him and he already made it. Sadly, this film watches like a fancier Napoleon Dynomite with more motion and sound in it. Jack Black is Jack Black. The nun is hot. The scenery is as lifeless as you would expect from Mexico. The film is worth seeing on home video.
Sadly, the director's fate is the same as David O Selsnick's after he made Gone With the Wind. Nothing after will ever compare after that and why try. Good try though. I like the fact that the nun are hot.
The Devil Wears Prada - Excellent. Meryl Streep is beyond perfect in this role and it shines all around her. Without her, it's a cheep Swimming With Sharks knock off. The other chick has nice brown eyes, but that's about all you can say about the rest of the film. Meryl is this film and you should see it. There is a zen philosphy and a hard lesson to be learned in fashion and it was a nice twist to see that in this film.
Pirates of the Caribbean - I can not believe that this film was made or that Johnny I-am-the-hermaphrodite-that-every-bisexual-confused-lonely-female-wets-herself-over-
thinking-that-they-have-a-shot-at-getting-him Depp participated in it. He's usually a pretty safe bet for a film (The Libertine being one of a few exceptions) but not this time. This film was a two and a half hour mess. No understandable beginning, middle, or ending. In fact, it had no ending and just a bunch of middles that don't add up to anything close to a story. This film watches like a bunch of retellings of the same story but from the differing creative eyes of those involved.
Here are some things to remember. One - Keira Knightley, whom I tore apart in Domino, was awful in this film as well. She should stick to Merchant Ivory movies or kiddie porn. Everyone else you wanted to see from the first film is back in this film. Geoffery Rush is back for a brief cameo at the end which is meant to indicate that he will play a larger part in the third film. They got back Admiral Norrington, the quasi-bad guy/good guy in the first film. This time around, he has a new role as a bum hell-bent on seeking revenge. The film has a new British Snob bad guy. In a odd twist, the film makers want to make the East India Trading Company the bad guy and not England. I'm not sure why. It doesn't work in this film at all. The film is just shit. Don't even rent it. Wait until all three movies are out in a box DVD collection and then wait until they are available at a garage sale in a box marked "two for a nickel" and then buy them. Then wait until you're paralyzed and without any reason to live. Then watch this film... It should ease your passing.
So that's it. Those are the films as I see it. You can't always expect a movie to be great but if you have M&M's, there, it should make the film tolerable enough to sit through. At least until the M&M's are gone. In the case of Pirates of the Caribbean, you might need to bring a two pound bag.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 7:57 AM
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