more photos of the invasion

First views of Florence. This is... a great big building that I wanted to be where Hannibal lecter dropped that guy from the balcony. It wasn't, but it was worth thinking about. It is a great building and historic, but I have no idea why.
FLORENCE, ITALY













The piazza in front of the Uffizi gallery. This was actually a house that was built for the Medici family. Lady Medici didn't like it and had a bigger house built just across the river. This building then became an eyesore, so they put art in it. It then became the sixth greatest collection of art in the known world. (1. vatican 2. smithsonian 3.queen of england 4.chinese imperial collection 5.louvre)
FLORENCE, ITALY




Thisy-here is that duomo thing (pronounced dou-mo). It's a great big church that you can walk 463 steps to the top of. The steps are narrow and steep. The last 13 steps are so worn out that it's basically a slide. Keep in mind, you have to pass people going up and down. This building is also the earliest attempt at Las Vegas style glamour. For the time, this was pretty "loud". Not surprisingly, Italians love Las Vegas.
FLORENCE, ITALY









The river that gracefully and artistically, flows through Florence. You can't drink or swim in the water, but it's still considered romantic to walk next to it with your best girl.
FLORENCE, ITALY









Capturing in the lens, all of the major structures of Florence, minus the art. But you can see all the structures that make up the Duomo piazza. I thought I was cleaver until I saw a postcard of this exact same shot.
FLORENCE, ITALY













This isn't the best shot of Venice I have, but I loaded the wrong one in and it's too much work to change it. I will try to add it later. Much to my surprise, Venice didn't stink at all and the water looked inviting. It isn't. Somewhere at the bottom of this water system are relatives that leaned out too far to get a photo and fell in. Then everyone threw rocks at them so they wouldn't try to crawl back in the boat covered with that nasty water.
VENICE, ITALY



Ooooohhhhhh. This is going to be good. Domes are always good. Is this where Indiana Jones crawled out of the sewer?
VENICE, ITALY










It IS the place where Indy crawled out of the sewer. Church - Europe - Catholics - Yawn. Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail - Now that's worth taking a picture of.
VENICE, ITALY














San Marco Piazza. OR Where birds rule the universe. Don't fuck with these birds, they have complete autonomy. Some asshole fed them two hundred years ago and ever since they have assaulted humans. Some humans think it's a good idea to let them land on you for a photo. We never see those people again. I have a photo of that to, Damn it! Okay, there will be a make up day. Anyway... Birds.
VENICE, ITALY




This is what the majority of Venice looks like. Narrow, confusing pathways that dead end and circle around and keep invaders from finding the palace as they overrun the town. It also keeps you from finding your way back to the boat or keeps some people from finding their home. The lost souls just fling themselves into the water and die. Eaten by moat snakes. Final note on Venice. No Italians live here, the houses are so expensive that rich foreigners bought the town and use it as a vacation getaway. This makes stores, restaurants and other business go out of business making this town a ghost town.
VENICE, FORMERLY ITALY

This is the place where Hannibal killed that thief in Hannibal. In fact, that guy in the background, that might be the guy Hannibal killed! Anyway, this pig is everywhere in the world, no one knows which one was the first one or why you have to rub it's snout for luck. The area behind the pig is pickpocket alley where you can buy leather goods, post cards and other stolen items.
FLORENCE, ITALY





That's RIGHT! THE man. Amerigo. His statue is in the great Uffizi piazza and is overlooked by both man and bird. However, his name is synomous with all that is the Western Hemisphere. It's named after him. Amerigo - America. Why him and not someone else? It was one of those, "don't give the chick your real name, use a buddies" things.
FLORENCE, ITALY











The palace of death. I have been in Rome for thirty minutes and I got this shot. I have a better one which will make the make up day. I love the lighting. Camera genius! Very spooky place. This place has seen more death than any one place on earth. Close to six million people died in this building. Mostly Christians. A moment of silence for all the Lions that are no longer with us....
ROME, ITALY





Not sure what this place was, but it was beautiful, locked and a sight in the middle of the night. Rome at night is glorious and I recommend it highly. I loved this moment of the trip.
ROME, ITALY








Italians are not smart people. After Da Vinci there is a huuuuge dip in the IQ levels. It could be the water they drink, I don't know. Anyway, here is an example of the political atmosphere in Italy (elections are in april). Vota Fonzie. Who, as I hope you know, is fictional. AND, for all of you that didn't know, portrayed by Henry Winkler, who is Jewish. Italians hate Jews, but not the Fonz. I hope Henry wins, it would be good for his career.
ROME, ITALY




Shhhhhhhhh. You are not supposed to take photos in the Sistine Chapel. It's illegal. And I don't have to tell you that the Vatican is it's own country. They have no extradition with anyone. They will just have a Swiss guard slice off your head with one of their many axes. This is the shot of what made the Sistine the Sistine. The Creation of man. I have other photos... blah, blah. I also got "clapped" at by the guards, which is really bad.
VATICAN CITY, UHHHH VATICONIA



This is just one hallway of stolen art in the Vatican. You can see it for twelve Euro. In this place are the original books of the bible. The books of the bible that didn't make it past the editor's pen. All other forms of information that the Catholic church is never going to share with you. The arc, The grail, The shroud of Turin (or Turino if you are still feeling like an idiot) and all the toys that were never given out by Santa because the children were bad. This building is the world's largest collection of amassed stolen goods. If you ever wanted to know where that money goes on Sunday, it's here.
VATICAN CITY, VATICOSLAVIA

Photo genius moment. I loved these stairs. I loved the light, I loved the four mega pixel moment with a 200 ISO.
VATICAN, VATICAN AND TABAGO










Of course, the Vatican isn't the Vatican without the Vatican. St. Pete's square, where millions gather to see the voice of god. (presently the voice of god is a former Nazi). These people gather here like it was Popapalooza. No opening acts, just a Pope in a Jeep. Entry was free. No security. Even though the last Pope was shot in this plaza in 1980. I think the Swiss guards want a different Pope.
ST PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANADA




A rare "me" moment. Remember I wasn't really traveling with anyone on this one so the photos of me are light. Anyway, of the four light posts in St. Pete's Square, this is the one that is closest to the front gate on the right as you walk in. Just in case you ever come here and want to see my name written at the bottom of that lamp post. I also wrote, "Vota Fonzie".
ST. PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANLIA





That's the man! The dude in the white suit. Pimped out ride and a million screaming girls. This is the voice of god. Former Nazi! Former Bishop of Munich! Presently Mr. Saturday Night and Twice Again on Sunday!.... Heeeerreeee's Bennie! (don't fuck with the pope. he snaps his fingers and you never existed)
ST. PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANAZI






This is a famous piazza in Rome. It was basically shut down for remodeling before the tourist season starts so this is the only angle that was really worth taking photos of. It was a lonnnng walk to this point from the Vatican.
ROME, ITALY (whew!)








The panetheon. A famous building from ancient Rome that was used for... used for... tourism.
It was lovely but, again, with a fucked up foot, it's a long walk.
ROME, ITALY









There's that statue of the two kids. You know they say that the nipple that the child chooses to suckle has a great deal to do with future developmental stages in their life. Dating habits, Religious views, Overall health. All from which nipple you choose to suckle.
ROME, ITALY







RUINS!!!! Rome has ruins and they find more everyday. Classic structures with history at every turn. Of course, every plaque reads like a second grade reader, "This is where the women made bread. They used to gather wheat and grind it and then make it into bread. Meanwhile the men were out in the fields... " (humping other men a la Brokeback Mountain)
ANCIENT ROME, ITALY






Inside the THUNDERDOME!!! Here millions of people saw the sun for the last time. They gazed up at the sky or at the people in the stands and they watched their world turned to black. Now, people can pay 12 euro to come and see where people, crying, fell to the earth and became Meow mix. Look at that sky and try to sense what it must have been like to see this same view as you were impaled.
ROME, ITALY




A view from Section 121, Row 4, Seat 9. What they used to call the shit seats because you were behind the lions dugout. The actual area of the arena is much smaller in person than the films would have you believe. There is NO WAY a major band could do a show here even though the place could hold a 100,000 people. The movie Gladiator was NOT filmed here. No way, I think they used Giants Stadium in New Jersey.
ROME, ITALY







The bocca del veritas. Made famous not by it's function as a truth telling device, no... it was made famous by a movie. "Roman Holiday". The story goes that if you put your hand in the lion's mouth it won't eat you unless you're a Christian. Or something like that. I don't know. The Italians are weird when it comes to superstition. Did I mention they have a Nazi as the voice of God?
ROME, ITALY





Famous arch? Sure. I guess so. On this trip, I have seen a lot of arches and I am not really feeling the arch thing any more. That and churches, paintings, statues and European architecture. What I wouldn't give for an obnoxiously large parking lot.
ROME, ITALY







Okay, more tomorrow. More Rome, then on to Germany and then a make up day if I can.