invasion of europe
Episode #5
The show
At some point in this trip, I was going to have to earn the plane tickets and last night was it.
The day starts with the arrival of the other comic, Jeff Justus, from Oklahoma. He's tired, beat and not amused with the fact that he could have been in Europe for free for two weeks. He's here for 48 hours and then he flies back.
He falls asleep and misses the first 8 of the trip. I don't have the heart to tell him that getting used to the time change is a waste if you are returning home so quickly. He's a good guy, I hear he's funny and I need a sancho pretty badly at this point. Even a sleeping one.
I spent the day farting around the German countryside trying to find adventure. I found a shoe store and the train station. It turns out that Germans are the biggest fans of siestas. You would have thought that Mexicans were lazy. No Germans can take up to four hours of their day for sleeping, lunching and losing wars. It makes for some really frustrating sightseeing and even more nerve wracking shopping. So for all of you that thought you were getting postcards, eat shit. Hansel and Gretel are napping.
I will admit that an empty Germany is still better than a full France. The Germans keep their country so clean and tidy. And this is with a law that says that you are NOT allowed to do any outside work on Sundays whatsoever. That's right, it's illegal to work in the yard or garden or on your car on Sundays. The thinking is that if you're working, then you're probably interrupting the rest of someone else nearby. Germans need their rest.
Oh, by the way, the German economy is failing and they have no idea why. It's hysterical.
The show on Ramstein is glorious and Jeff opens the show. He's funny in his own holding back kind of way and he seems pretty pleased. My show rocks and the "trade in a child for cash" joke kills.
After the show we head into Ramstein to hit a pub and see if we can see any college hoops. We don't see any hoops, but we do get a beer. Hell, we are in Germany. It's a small beer, what the locals call, "The female". I get drunk. For your information. The drinks come in; female, student, pappa, grandpappa(one liter stein). Jeff has five ladies to my one before we call it a night.
It's so cold here. So clean and cold. History is preserved here in the beauty of the buildings, the people and the attention to preservation. The people here are so keenly aware that they live in historic surroundings and are careful to keep things as is for future Germans. Unlike the rest of the world, there is really no pride in their words when the speak of Germany. The speak of Germany like an responsiblity, not a heritage. The one thing that makes me love them is their hatred of all things French. Most of the people here have never been to France and don't understand the American's interest in Paris or Jean Reno. If there was ever to be a third war, it would be over this issue.
I have a day of castles and my final show and then it's off to the only country in the world that doesn't name it's town after their pronunciations. No where else in the world does a town call itself forienze but title itself florence. Roma is Rome. Venenize is Venice. Turino is Turin. This naming phenomenon does not exist anywhere else in the world.
I say goodbye to Jeff today and then it's on to Italy.
The show
At some point in this trip, I was going to have to earn the plane tickets and last night was it.
The day starts with the arrival of the other comic, Jeff Justus, from Oklahoma. He's tired, beat and not amused with the fact that he could have been in Europe for free for two weeks. He's here for 48 hours and then he flies back.
He falls asleep and misses the first 8 of the trip. I don't have the heart to tell him that getting used to the time change is a waste if you are returning home so quickly. He's a good guy, I hear he's funny and I need a sancho pretty badly at this point. Even a sleeping one.
I spent the day farting around the German countryside trying to find adventure. I found a shoe store and the train station. It turns out that Germans are the biggest fans of siestas. You would have thought that Mexicans were lazy. No Germans can take up to four hours of their day for sleeping, lunching and losing wars. It makes for some really frustrating sightseeing and even more nerve wracking shopping. So for all of you that thought you were getting postcards, eat shit. Hansel and Gretel are napping.
I will admit that an empty Germany is still better than a full France. The Germans keep their country so clean and tidy. And this is with a law that says that you are NOT allowed to do any outside work on Sundays whatsoever. That's right, it's illegal to work in the yard or garden or on your car on Sundays. The thinking is that if you're working, then you're probably interrupting the rest of someone else nearby. Germans need their rest.
Oh, by the way, the German economy is failing and they have no idea why. It's hysterical.
The show on Ramstein is glorious and Jeff opens the show. He's funny in his own holding back kind of way and he seems pretty pleased. My show rocks and the "trade in a child for cash" joke kills.
After the show we head into Ramstein to hit a pub and see if we can see any college hoops. We don't see any hoops, but we do get a beer. Hell, we are in Germany. It's a small beer, what the locals call, "The female". I get drunk. For your information. The drinks come in; female, student, pappa, grandpappa(one liter stein). Jeff has five ladies to my one before we call it a night.
It's so cold here. So clean and cold. History is preserved here in the beauty of the buildings, the people and the attention to preservation. The people here are so keenly aware that they live in historic surroundings and are careful to keep things as is for future Germans. Unlike the rest of the world, there is really no pride in their words when the speak of Germany. The speak of Germany like an responsiblity, not a heritage. The one thing that makes me love them is their hatred of all things French. Most of the people here have never been to France and don't understand the American's interest in Paris or Jean Reno. If there was ever to be a third war, it would be over this issue.
I have a day of castles and my final show and then it's off to the only country in the world that doesn't name it's town after their pronunciations. No where else in the world does a town call itself forienze but title itself florence. Roma is Rome. Venenize is Venice. Turino is Turin. This naming phenomenon does not exist anywhere else in the world.
I say goodbye to Jeff today and then it's on to Italy.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 1:35 AM
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