visionaries aren't always 20/20
Tom Cruise hurts me.
I just watched Mission Impossible 3 and I am ready to hurt each person involved with it. We can start with Tom as the producer and then Stratton Leopold as the Unit Production Manager and then down to JJ Abrams as the director and then everyone that appeared in the film later. It's just that bad of a film. Everyone should be punished. I forgive Keri Russell, she's only in it for a second and she's sexy. She gets a pass.
MI3 is an example of a film that suffers from too many visions and not enough focus. Tom wanted a film to further extend his mid-life crisis therapy, JJ Abrams wanted a film to show that he could direct a feature and Stratton wanted to show that he was ready to be a producer for Paramount. All three of these men did nothing but prove that they were pretenders and out of their league. In Tom's case, he just needs to accept the fact that the "Top Gun" days are over.
MI3 suffers miserably and the audience is made to suffer with it. Stay away from this film if you get dizzy easily. I think the only time the camera isn't moving is during the romantic scenes and they are so dull and lifeless, you'll be saying to yourself, "Tom Cruise has a fishing buddy in Wyoming". The camera is always on the move and you can't see half the film at all.
The story is complex and a stretch, but I am forgiving of that because it's supposed to be science-fiction fantasy. But... STILL! It still needs to be somewhat believable and interesting. The love story was supposed to be the focus of this enstallment and I can't say that we get any idea of what the girl is like, but we know Tom pretty well. They should have been honest and sad what this film is really all about, "Tom's damage control and another chance to showcase his physical abilities." I guess his acting ability isn't important.
I am going to ruin the film right now and tell you everything that happens:
The film opens at the end.
Tom is bargaining for his girl's life. Tom fails. Fade to black and start building a back story. Tom is getting married. His girl doesn't know he's a spy. Tom is no longer a spy but a teacher at spy school. His prize pupil is captured in Berlin. Tom is asked to fetch her. Tom's team tries to convince him not to get married. Tom fetches pupil in Berlin. Pupil dies during escape. Tom is scolded by Larry Fishburne who is the director of spies R us. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the man who killed prize pupil. Tom marries his girl in hospital. Tom is sent to kidnap Phil with the same team. Tom nabs Phil in the bathroom at the Vatican. Tom almost kills Phil in a plane. Phil escapes incarceration during his ground transport. Phil kidnaps Tom's girl. Phil gives Tom 48 hours to get an "item" for him. Tom learns that Larry Fishburne is a rogue agent. Tom gets nabbed by spies R us for being a rogue agent. Tom escapes spies R us building. Tom heads to China. Tom gets item in China. Film picks up where it started. Tom lives. Tom saves girlfriend. Tom kills Phil. Tom kills himself. Tom's girlfriend saves Tom. Tom and girl go to spies R us building and the movie ends like every episode of an 80's television show. Everyone involved in the film is laughing and the frame is frozen during a fade to black.
JJ Abrams should be shot. I wasn't aware of who he was until I looked it up. He created the television shows, "Alias" and "Lost". I haven't seen either show and now I know not to. He is not a director and the powers that be should be slaughtered for allowing him the to direct this snot rag. JJ suffers from first-timer syndrome and the film is hard to follow, filled with every known kind of camera angle and stereotypical set up. JJ, shame on you. You should have said no to this one and directed something smaller and learned how to use a camera first.
Tom Cruise hired him. And during the film, you can see why he made this choice - This film is for Tom. He wanted to further his statement about his life. He wasn't to show that his life wasn't a complete waste and that even short men are worth something to the fabric of society. During the film, Tom did all of his own stunts, as he always does. In this one he jumps off the tallest building in Shanghai for reasons that are not very clear. He slides under two cars. He jumps across a huge void. He is blown up. It's just a Tom-fest. In fact, he is in every scene of the movie. Phil - the Oscar winner, is barely used and only shows up in the middle of the film. Why he is a bad guy is never revealed. What his evil plan is, is also not revealed.
Tom!!! Listen, It's okay, really. We loved you in "Born on the Fourth of July" and "Color of Money". It's okay. You can stop now. (will someone please hug this guy!)
The film is two hours of noise. I have not seen a film that was as bad in a long, long time. "Domino" comes to mind, but this even tops that one (Mickey Rourke was in Domino, which is it's saving grace). If you see MI3, sneak in to it. Don't pay a dime for it otherwise you are going to let the studios think that it's okay to hire JJ Abrams again.
Am I upset? Oh yes. But, I am learning to adjust my film rage in a positive way.
Quite possibly the most defining moment in the film is when Tom and his girl are walking in a shanty town section of Shanghai and she asks where he really works and he says, "Impossible Missions Force". I think this accurately describes the production and it makes me laugh when I think about it.
To tie it in with yesterday's theme - I have already been to the Vatican and I don't want to see Shanghai, so this film doesn't even do much to promote tourism in those areas. Unless you want to see the spies R us building in "Virginia", which is apparently located near the Florida keys.
I just watched Mission Impossible 3 and I am ready to hurt each person involved with it. We can start with Tom as the producer and then Stratton Leopold as the Unit Production Manager and then down to JJ Abrams as the director and then everyone that appeared in the film later. It's just that bad of a film. Everyone should be punished. I forgive Keri Russell, she's only in it for a second and she's sexy. She gets a pass.
MI3 is an example of a film that suffers from too many visions and not enough focus. Tom wanted a film to further extend his mid-life crisis therapy, JJ Abrams wanted a film to show that he could direct a feature and Stratton wanted to show that he was ready to be a producer for Paramount. All three of these men did nothing but prove that they were pretenders and out of their league. In Tom's case, he just needs to accept the fact that the "Top Gun" days are over.
MI3 suffers miserably and the audience is made to suffer with it. Stay away from this film if you get dizzy easily. I think the only time the camera isn't moving is during the romantic scenes and they are so dull and lifeless, you'll be saying to yourself, "Tom Cruise has a fishing buddy in Wyoming". The camera is always on the move and you can't see half the film at all.
The story is complex and a stretch, but I am forgiving of that because it's supposed to be science-fiction fantasy. But... STILL! It still needs to be somewhat believable and interesting. The love story was supposed to be the focus of this enstallment and I can't say that we get any idea of what the girl is like, but we know Tom pretty well. They should have been honest and sad what this film is really all about, "Tom's damage control and another chance to showcase his physical abilities." I guess his acting ability isn't important.
I am going to ruin the film right now and tell you everything that happens:
The film opens at the end.
Tom is bargaining for his girl's life. Tom fails. Fade to black and start building a back story. Tom is getting married. His girl doesn't know he's a spy. Tom is no longer a spy but a teacher at spy school. His prize pupil is captured in Berlin. Tom is asked to fetch her. Tom's team tries to convince him not to get married. Tom fetches pupil in Berlin. Pupil dies during escape. Tom is scolded by Larry Fishburne who is the director of spies R us. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the man who killed prize pupil. Tom marries his girl in hospital. Tom is sent to kidnap Phil with the same team. Tom nabs Phil in the bathroom at the Vatican. Tom almost kills Phil in a plane. Phil escapes incarceration during his ground transport. Phil kidnaps Tom's girl. Phil gives Tom 48 hours to get an "item" for him. Tom learns that Larry Fishburne is a rogue agent. Tom gets nabbed by spies R us for being a rogue agent. Tom escapes spies R us building. Tom heads to China. Tom gets item in China. Film picks up where it started. Tom lives. Tom saves girlfriend. Tom kills Phil. Tom kills himself. Tom's girlfriend saves Tom. Tom and girl go to spies R us building and the movie ends like every episode of an 80's television show. Everyone involved in the film is laughing and the frame is frozen during a fade to black.
JJ Abrams should be shot. I wasn't aware of who he was until I looked it up. He created the television shows, "Alias" and "Lost". I haven't seen either show and now I know not to. He is not a director and the powers that be should be slaughtered for allowing him the to direct this snot rag. JJ suffers from first-timer syndrome and the film is hard to follow, filled with every known kind of camera angle and stereotypical set up. JJ, shame on you. You should have said no to this one and directed something smaller and learned how to use a camera first.
Tom Cruise hired him. And during the film, you can see why he made this choice - This film is for Tom. He wanted to further his statement about his life. He wasn't to show that his life wasn't a complete waste and that even short men are worth something to the fabric of society. During the film, Tom did all of his own stunts, as he always does. In this one he jumps off the tallest building in Shanghai for reasons that are not very clear. He slides under two cars. He jumps across a huge void. He is blown up. It's just a Tom-fest. In fact, he is in every scene of the movie. Phil - the Oscar winner, is barely used and only shows up in the middle of the film. Why he is a bad guy is never revealed. What his evil plan is, is also not revealed.
Tom!!! Listen, It's okay, really. We loved you in "Born on the Fourth of July" and "Color of Money". It's okay. You can stop now. (will someone please hug this guy!)
The film is two hours of noise. I have not seen a film that was as bad in a long, long time. "Domino" comes to mind, but this even tops that one (Mickey Rourke was in Domino, which is it's saving grace). If you see MI3, sneak in to it. Don't pay a dime for it otherwise you are going to let the studios think that it's okay to hire JJ Abrams again.
Am I upset? Oh yes. But, I am learning to adjust my film rage in a positive way.
Quite possibly the most defining moment in the film is when Tom and his girl are walking in a shanty town section of Shanghai and she asks where he really works and he says, "Impossible Missions Force". I think this accurately describes the production and it makes me laugh when I think about it.
To tie it in with yesterday's theme - I have already been to the Vatican and I don't want to see Shanghai, so this film doesn't even do much to promote tourism in those areas. Unless you want to see the spies R us building in "Virginia", which is apparently located near the Florida keys.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 11:45 AM
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