zelda

I must. I must have her! I have a lust, a craving in my soul to possess her! And if I wasn't such a cheap bastard, I could own her. RIGHT NOW! I know people that have owned her in the past and they say she's great. I hate these people for soiling her before I've had my chance to lay my hands on her goodies. They say she's hard to figure out, a little frustrating at times, but if you know the right moves, you'll be able to beat her again and again without killing yourself.

50 bucks. That's all it's going to take. Well, that and some other little expenditures here and there for things that always seem to pop up, but I must have HER!!!!

--- Before I continue, I would like to say that this is completely out of character for me. I wish I could blame it on the dizziness, but this craving started about five months ago, well before the dizziness, so I know that's not the reason.----

My lust has compelled me to risk financial ruin just to have this little bitch in my hands. If she weren't so precious to me, I would crush her with a hammer. I would just keep hitting her with it until she was just a massive heap of rubble. People do that with things they want really, really badly and don't want to share.

AND I don't even like VIDEO GAMES!!!!!

But I have to have this one. I have no idea why. I guess I want to spend the next five months of my life sitting in front of a television, going blind and getting fat. For what? So I can figure out the video game puzzle that calls to me like a soulless siren.

I don't own a television set. A DVD player. A bed. A chair. A plate. A cup. Toilet paper, Soap or food. But I will own Zelda before this month is out. The rest of the world be damned. I will own that game.

Perhaps it's the fact that Zelda can fly. Or shoot arrows at anyone, anywhere at any time and not get in trouble. Perhaps, it's the fact that Zelda can fall off buildings, cliffs and other vertical nightmares, DIE and then a simple press of the button can bring her back to life. AND! Bring her back to life mere moments before the critical error occured, thus avoiding a similar fate. Perhaps it's the lack of conscience that Zelda has about killing random creatures or stealing goods from people or randomly and viciously destroying property without the slightest concern for other creatures' feelings. Perhaps it's the constant state of bewilderment or the unsolicited responsibility of having to save the planet from destruction, all the while wondering, "Hey, wait a minute... What did I do to deserve this? Isn't there someone more qualified than me?"

I can not explain to you what this craving has done to my life. Perhaps this is at the very core of my dizziness problem and playing the game will somehow save me. I guess I won't know until I have slaved for hours in front of a television, playing the game.

I shall keep you posted.