the final days of the invasion

The Pope's House. This is THAT balcony. I forgot it in yesterday's post, so here it is. Shhhh. If you're really quiet, you can almost hear the tiny little screams of young boys in the other rooms that are "praying" with local bishops.
VATICAN CITY, VATIAINTGOINGINME








Circus Maximus. This long patch of soil was where chariots would race. Today, anyone can walk on it. The kid I was with ran the length of it to prove a point. It winded him and he looked like a fool. Ah, youth. Pride before wisdom. It's a lovely area to visit, especially if you and your buddies want to get out the chariots and have a few races. This person in pink, I have no idea who that is.
ROME, ITALY




Florence from Piazza Micheangelo on my last day. My feet hurt so bad it was all I could do to ride a bus to each locale. I loved this spot. It was one of the few warm days, with sunshine and it felt good to watch the local kids get stoned and drink wine on the hill top.
FLORENCE, ITALY







Tuscany. It really doesn't get any better than this - Wine, Diane Lane, Art students that are easily seduced with cheap dialogue, and these endless vistas.
TUSCANY, ITALY









Shifting gears. This is the entrance into Dachau. The first concentration camp of the Third Reich. Originally a prison for criminals of the state, it opened it's doors to Jews, Gays, Gypsies, Serbs, and all other forms of non-Aryans. Dachau was the toughest of them all, It was the first to gas, experiment, torture, hang and "train" it's prisoners. This humble door must have looked like the gates to hell. Today, there is a housing complex twenty feet away from this building.
DACHAU, GERMANY



ARBEIT MACHT FREI. Work makes you free. The words on the gate of every concentration camp. There was no work to be done at Dachau, it was used as a political prison and a place to experiment, but people did survive their stay. Sadly, there are no German tourists here. Germans are not allowed to learn about this portion of their history and still feel guilt and shame about it. It's the worst crime of the Nazis. Not what they did to people in the 1930's and 40's, but what it did to a nation for centuries. I think that's why people can live next to this place and not care.
DACHAU, GERMANY

The Grounds. This is the place where 30,000 people stood for three hours every morning and night to be counted. Any deviation in the numbers and they stood longer. It was below freezing this day and I was wearing a hat, gloves, a wool coat, a fleece undergoat, a flannel shirt and a tee shirt and I was freezing. They wore a thin long sleeved shirt and a pair of pants with sandals. In the background, that's the fight between the football fans. That's right in front of the only remaining barracks.
DACHAU, GERMANY


First day. In this room, they actually showered. If you notice, each beam has a square on it. That square used to be a wooden beam where prisoners were hanged and beaten. The concept of "showers" was first thought of in this room.
DACHAU, GERMANY








I fancy myself a writer and this hit me hard. Inside the camp, no one was allowed to keep records of what happened. If you did and it was discovered, you were hung from a beam and beaten to death. The power of words, a lesson for us all. The Bunker is a smaller prison behind this building that was used for special prisoners that the SS wanted to talk to. In that bunker the cells were two feet by two feet. You could not sit down or turn around.
DACHAU, GERMANY



This gate is the last remaining original gate. If you look you can see the thin strip of grass next to the group of students. If you stepped on that grass, you were shot. If you wanted to make a run for it, you had to clear the water in the moat, then electrical wires, then an electric barbed wire fence, then a machine gun nest, then another moat, then Germany. This gate led to the first extermination compound of Nazi Germany.
DACHAU, GERMANY



These were the deluxe model ovens. Bodies were found in them when the camp was liberated. They could accomodate up to two bodies at a time. This was the second model used for this purpose. Dachau was where they perfected the oven system that other camps would use. Then Dachau quit gassing their prisoners. It was too expensive. They needed their prisoners to find out what happened to the body when you exposed it to freezing water for two weeks or what happens when you accidentally fall out of your airplane in space.
DACHAU, GERMANY


Shower room. The bad kind. The first one. The small window on the back wall is where the doctors watched to see the effects of the gas, to see if it was effective. This is the only part of the tour that the school kids thought was "cool."
Those black dots on the ceiling are where the gas came in the room. In the room before this, they took off their clothes and waited for their turn to go in. The room on the other side was where they were stacked until they could be burned. The waiting room actually had a bench for them to sit on before their shower.
DACHAU, GERMANY

The original ovens a few feet from the showers. This is where they worked on getting it right. Sadly, this oven took too long and could only burn one body at a time. These are old bread ovens.
DACHAU, GERMANY








Marienplatz in Munich. I loved Munich. It was a beautiful city. Even though it was surrounded by death. This building is the new city hall which was built before the old city hall. In that tower is a glockenspeil. Or, an elaborate coo coo clock. There is only one other one like it in the world and it's in Prague. It goes off at 11 AM and noon everyday. That statue in front of it is solid gold.
MUNICH, GERMANY





This is Tal 38. They sell furniture here. 80 years ago, it's where Hitler and some buddies came up with the idea of Nazis and a dream. German beer is strong and drunks can come up with some weird shit when their buzzed.
MUNICH, GERMANY










The glockenspeil. It's really very spooky. It's not attached to the clock so it's not automated, someone has to enter the tower and turn it on every day. Isn't that odd. The people spin around for five minutes, and there is a joust and everything. The bird on top does come out and make a strange noise at the end. Germans also like to watch porn where people pee and poo on each other. Just thought you should have some perspective on German culture.
MUNICH, GERMANY





The hall on top of Hofbrahaus where Hitler gave his first speech.... On that stage.... In this room.... It all started. That's right if Hitler had chickened out from stage fright, we wouldn't have Jettas or Passats today.
MUNICH, GERMANY










This spot used to have a huge monument that everyone had to salute as they passed. It marks the spot where Hitler and his "beer hall putsch" occured. Basically a small riot, some 15 nazis died, not Hitler, he ran away and stole the only ambulance in town. Also killed, four police officers and one waiter. Later it would be said that the waiter was a Nazi and he would be included in the memorial and enshrined with the other "heroes." The four police men would also be included and it was said they were killed trying to join the Nazi revolt. If you look closely at the wall, right in the upper middle, you will see a hint of a small black square. That is where the plaque bearing the names of the police officers once sat.
MUNICH, GERMANY

This is the balcony in the Olympic Village where that masked terrorist stood and was photographed during the hostage crisis. In my mind this building was larger and more remote. In reality, it was much smaller than the rest of the buildings in the area and the balcony was barely off the ground. Today, someone lives in the apartment where the kidnapping and murders took place. And - like so many other things about Germans - they don't want to remember it. A small plaque is all that is here to remind anyone that it happened. The rest of the area is mostly a slum.
MUNICH, GERMANY



The Olympic village. This railing is the old transit system that is no longer around. The buildings are run down and are used for low cost housing. Germany spent millions to prepare for this Olympics and it was it's "out" from the gloom of it's past. Then the hostage crisis and a difficult silver medal for the USA in basketball and everything went to shit. Today, all that glory is in ruins, much like the rest of Europe. A great idea ruined by violence and basketball.
MUNICH, GERMANY



This group of trees is growing out of the old Nazi pantheon where the bodies of the 16 heroes of the Beer Hall Putsch were buried and displayed. Today it is collecting trash from people driving by. In the backgound is the original SS headquarters. And yes, that is a smart car, they are everywhere in Europe.
MUNICH, GERMANY






Hitler's first headquarters after becoming "a contender, a somebody." Today, it's nothing. It's empty. If you look at the top of the building you can see three holes, that is where the swastika was placed on the building.
It bears noting that the power behind all this glory are the companies - Bayer, BMW and Porsche, who made out like bandits during the war. Bayer, the aspirin company, was responsible for the experiments at Dachau. All these companies had offices here. Today, only Bayer has offices nearby. BMW has offices out by the Olympic grounds.
MUNICH, GERMANY


This is the kingsplatz. The buildings are old offices of the Nazis and that temple is where the Hilter youth became officers or were sworn in. This is also the plaza where they first started burning books and where Nazi Day was first celebrated with a grand parade. Behind me is the Pantheon with the 16 heroes.
MUNICH, GERMANY






This is one of the few remaining Nazi eagles that didn't get torn down. The swastika was chiseled out, but the impact remains. This one is on the side of a school.
MUNICH, GERMANY









The desk where Goethe wrote Faust. Goethe was rich growing up and lived in a beautiful house in Frankfurt. He did most of his work in Frankfurt and then started traveling around a bit. But this is where he became famous. I have no desk, so tours of my house after I'm dead, will be of a red plaid couch where I wrote "Booger sculptures and other short stories" my immortal classic.
FRANKFURT, GERMANY





Germans love this kind of Bavarian look. It's so overdone. The positive side of Frankfurt, Hitler hated it and never, ever came here. Other Frankfurt facts. Only city not founded by the Romans. World Headquarters of the Euro. (which owns the French, Norweign, English, Spainish and Italian Stock exchange - yes, the Germans finally got it right. No need for armies, just use corporations and you can rule all of Europe) The "brats" in this area were the best. I could live in Germany just for their food.
FRANKFURT, GERMANY




The hostel next to the world of sex. Where all forms of sex were occuring night and day. It was fun to sit in front of the building and get looked at like a hustler. Pimpin' ain't easy! The world of sex contains videos of women that like to be pooed on. What strikes me about this particular fetish is that there are enough women out there that enjoy pee and poo that you could make so much "fresh faced" porn with it. Where are all these chicks? And why didn't any of them talk to me? I would have peed on a chick! Hey, you can't judge me! Am I not supposed to be subscribing to the mantra, "When in Rome." The hostel door is just behind the arrow on the blue sign. On the other side, gay world of sex. Did anyone know that middle eastern men could be gay? Anyone? Or is it just me. Anyway, it was weird to see men running back into an alley together.
FRANKFURT, GERMANY




Okay. That's it. I have some other photos, but I am not going to overwhelm you with them. It was a fun trip. I learned a great deal and came home smiling. Every trip abroad seems to teach me more about the human condition, each and every time I step foot in a duty free shop I take a little bit more home with me from my trip.

Europe is worth a month or two of your life. It will cost you a good chunk of change, but there is something to be seen there. It's filled with history's achievements and failures and, depending on which country you're in, you can visit them both and learn from what you see. I still think they just need one huge gallery in Europe and one huge cemetery. I know this sounds awful, but trust me when I say, that time is coming.

The Food
The People
The lessons to be learned.
That's what I enjoyed on my trip.
The most valuable lesson I learned on my trip - Trying to make something disappear and trying to forget about it, only makes something last longer in the minds of the world. If you want something to die off, you overkill it, you don't doll it out in small doses. You get sicker of pizza faster when you eat an entire one yourself than when you eat one piece at a time. You want to forget about the Nazis, the terrorists, the plague, the wars, or things that your country did in it's 2000 plus year history that was bad... Then give them the Vanilla Ice treatment. OVER expose those things you want to forget about, until everyone is sick of them, then they will fall from favor and we won't ever see them again until VH1 or the History channel brings them back to our attention. Avoiding something only gives it a longer shelf life. That is what I learned. There is too much shame, guilt and pain that people feel that isn't theirs to feel. I guess every country sees this. As an American, I know there was a time when I felt shame about things my country had done. But is that fair to me? No. Fuck Hitler, Fuck Il Duce and Fuck the Queen of England. I want a Gelatto, GUILT FREE!!!!!

more photos of the invasion

First views of Florence. This is... a great big building that I wanted to be where Hannibal lecter dropped that guy from the balcony. It wasn't, but it was worth thinking about. It is a great building and historic, but I have no idea why.
FLORENCE, ITALY













The piazza in front of the Uffizi gallery. This was actually a house that was built for the Medici family. Lady Medici didn't like it and had a bigger house built just across the river. This building then became an eyesore, so they put art in it. It then became the sixth greatest collection of art in the known world. (1. vatican 2. smithsonian 3.queen of england 4.chinese imperial collection 5.louvre)
FLORENCE, ITALY




Thisy-here is that duomo thing (pronounced dou-mo). It's a great big church that you can walk 463 steps to the top of. The steps are narrow and steep. The last 13 steps are so worn out that it's basically a slide. Keep in mind, you have to pass people going up and down. This building is also the earliest attempt at Las Vegas style glamour. For the time, this was pretty "loud". Not surprisingly, Italians love Las Vegas.
FLORENCE, ITALY









The river that gracefully and artistically, flows through Florence. You can't drink or swim in the water, but it's still considered romantic to walk next to it with your best girl.
FLORENCE, ITALY









Capturing in the lens, all of the major structures of Florence, minus the art. But you can see all the structures that make up the Duomo piazza. I thought I was cleaver until I saw a postcard of this exact same shot.
FLORENCE, ITALY













This isn't the best shot of Venice I have, but I loaded the wrong one in and it's too much work to change it. I will try to add it later. Much to my surprise, Venice didn't stink at all and the water looked inviting. It isn't. Somewhere at the bottom of this water system are relatives that leaned out too far to get a photo and fell in. Then everyone threw rocks at them so they wouldn't try to crawl back in the boat covered with that nasty water.
VENICE, ITALY



Ooooohhhhhh. This is going to be good. Domes are always good. Is this where Indiana Jones crawled out of the sewer?
VENICE, ITALY










It IS the place where Indy crawled out of the sewer. Church - Europe - Catholics - Yawn. Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail - Now that's worth taking a picture of.
VENICE, ITALY














San Marco Piazza. OR Where birds rule the universe. Don't fuck with these birds, they have complete autonomy. Some asshole fed them two hundred years ago and ever since they have assaulted humans. Some humans think it's a good idea to let them land on you for a photo. We never see those people again. I have a photo of that to, Damn it! Okay, there will be a make up day. Anyway... Birds.
VENICE, ITALY




This is what the majority of Venice looks like. Narrow, confusing pathways that dead end and circle around and keep invaders from finding the palace as they overrun the town. It also keeps you from finding your way back to the boat or keeps some people from finding their home. The lost souls just fling themselves into the water and die. Eaten by moat snakes. Final note on Venice. No Italians live here, the houses are so expensive that rich foreigners bought the town and use it as a vacation getaway. This makes stores, restaurants and other business go out of business making this town a ghost town.
VENICE, FORMERLY ITALY

This is the place where Hannibal killed that thief in Hannibal. In fact, that guy in the background, that might be the guy Hannibal killed! Anyway, this pig is everywhere in the world, no one knows which one was the first one or why you have to rub it's snout for luck. The area behind the pig is pickpocket alley where you can buy leather goods, post cards and other stolen items.
FLORENCE, ITALY





That's RIGHT! THE man. Amerigo. His statue is in the great Uffizi piazza and is overlooked by both man and bird. However, his name is synomous with all that is the Western Hemisphere. It's named after him. Amerigo - America. Why him and not someone else? It was one of those, "don't give the chick your real name, use a buddies" things.
FLORENCE, ITALY











The palace of death. I have been in Rome for thirty minutes and I got this shot. I have a better one which will make the make up day. I love the lighting. Camera genius! Very spooky place. This place has seen more death than any one place on earth. Close to six million people died in this building. Mostly Christians. A moment of silence for all the Lions that are no longer with us....
ROME, ITALY





Not sure what this place was, but it was beautiful, locked and a sight in the middle of the night. Rome at night is glorious and I recommend it highly. I loved this moment of the trip.
ROME, ITALY








Italians are not smart people. After Da Vinci there is a huuuuge dip in the IQ levels. It could be the water they drink, I don't know. Anyway, here is an example of the political atmosphere in Italy (elections are in april). Vota Fonzie. Who, as I hope you know, is fictional. AND, for all of you that didn't know, portrayed by Henry Winkler, who is Jewish. Italians hate Jews, but not the Fonz. I hope Henry wins, it would be good for his career.
ROME, ITALY




Shhhhhhhhh. You are not supposed to take photos in the Sistine Chapel. It's illegal. And I don't have to tell you that the Vatican is it's own country. They have no extradition with anyone. They will just have a Swiss guard slice off your head with one of their many axes. This is the shot of what made the Sistine the Sistine. The Creation of man. I have other photos... blah, blah. I also got "clapped" at by the guards, which is really bad.
VATICAN CITY, UHHHH VATICONIA



This is just one hallway of stolen art in the Vatican. You can see it for twelve Euro. In this place are the original books of the bible. The books of the bible that didn't make it past the editor's pen. All other forms of information that the Catholic church is never going to share with you. The arc, The grail, The shroud of Turin (or Turino if you are still feeling like an idiot) and all the toys that were never given out by Santa because the children were bad. This building is the world's largest collection of amassed stolen goods. If you ever wanted to know where that money goes on Sunday, it's here.
VATICAN CITY, VATICOSLAVIA

Photo genius moment. I loved these stairs. I loved the light, I loved the four mega pixel moment with a 200 ISO.
VATICAN, VATICAN AND TABAGO










Of course, the Vatican isn't the Vatican without the Vatican. St. Pete's square, where millions gather to see the voice of god. (presently the voice of god is a former Nazi). These people gather here like it was Popapalooza. No opening acts, just a Pope in a Jeep. Entry was free. No security. Even though the last Pope was shot in this plaza in 1980. I think the Swiss guards want a different Pope.
ST PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANADA




A rare "me" moment. Remember I wasn't really traveling with anyone on this one so the photos of me are light. Anyway, of the four light posts in St. Pete's Square, this is the one that is closest to the front gate on the right as you walk in. Just in case you ever come here and want to see my name written at the bottom of that lamp post. I also wrote, "Vota Fonzie".
ST. PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANLIA





That's the man! The dude in the white suit. Pimped out ride and a million screaming girls. This is the voice of god. Former Nazi! Former Bishop of Munich! Presently Mr. Saturday Night and Twice Again on Sunday!.... Heeeerreeee's Bennie! (don't fuck with the pope. he snaps his fingers and you never existed)
ST. PETE'S SQUARE, VATICANAZI






This is a famous piazza in Rome. It was basically shut down for remodeling before the tourist season starts so this is the only angle that was really worth taking photos of. It was a lonnnng walk to this point from the Vatican.
ROME, ITALY (whew!)








The panetheon. A famous building from ancient Rome that was used for... used for... tourism.
It was lovely but, again, with a fucked up foot, it's a long walk.
ROME, ITALY









There's that statue of the two kids. You know they say that the nipple that the child chooses to suckle has a great deal to do with future developmental stages in their life. Dating habits, Religious views, Overall health. All from which nipple you choose to suckle.
ROME, ITALY







RUINS!!!! Rome has ruins and they find more everyday. Classic structures with history at every turn. Of course, every plaque reads like a second grade reader, "This is where the women made bread. They used to gather wheat and grind it and then make it into bread. Meanwhile the men were out in the fields... " (humping other men a la Brokeback Mountain)
ANCIENT ROME, ITALY






Inside the THUNDERDOME!!! Here millions of people saw the sun for the last time. They gazed up at the sky or at the people in the stands and they watched their world turned to black. Now, people can pay 12 euro to come and see where people, crying, fell to the earth and became Meow mix. Look at that sky and try to sense what it must have been like to see this same view as you were impaled.
ROME, ITALY




A view from Section 121, Row 4, Seat 9. What they used to call the shit seats because you were behind the lions dugout. The actual area of the arena is much smaller in person than the films would have you believe. There is NO WAY a major band could do a show here even though the place could hold a 100,000 people. The movie Gladiator was NOT filmed here. No way, I think they used Giants Stadium in New Jersey.
ROME, ITALY







The bocca del veritas. Made famous not by it's function as a truth telling device, no... it was made famous by a movie. "Roman Holiday". The story goes that if you put your hand in the lion's mouth it won't eat you unless you're a Christian. Or something like that. I don't know. The Italians are weird when it comes to superstition. Did I mention they have a Nazi as the voice of God?
ROME, ITALY





Famous arch? Sure. I guess so. On this trip, I have seen a lot of arches and I am not really feeling the arch thing any more. That and churches, paintings, statues and European architecture. What I wouldn't give for an obnoxiously large parking lot.
ROME, ITALY







Okay, more tomorrow. More Rome, then on to Germany and then a make up day if I can.