to each their own

It's time we have another clarification session as I am getting a lot of feedback from you that indicates that some of you are taking some of what I say, WAY TOO LITERALLY! Or, you are taking some of the ideas from my posts and are giving them a try, without asking for help or guidance and you are running into some major problems. So before you go off and try and install a sex swing in your bedroom, here are some things I need to say to everyone...

Let's address these in no particular order of importance.

One. Corsets are not for everyone.
Okay, actually, they are. But the ones that are available at your local Victoria's Secret are made for specific body sizes and do not accommodate most women. You can get a hand made corset but it will cost you a few hundred bucks, but they are glorious. You have to really love them to pay for them. If not, stick with a garter belt and thigh highs, they work too.
Corsets are wonderful, but if worn wrong, or if you don't know what you are doing, you are going to run into some trouble. Recently a reader told me of her first corset experience and how she passed out from the heavy, yet restricted, breathing. In order to avoid some of these odd and scary moments, remember this.. Test drive your corset before you wear it for that "special" date. Get familiar with it. Where it sits on your body, where it rubs, how well you can breath, etc. Perhaps you should jog in place for a few minutes to see what heavy breathing in one feels like. If your corset is uncomfortable, find ways to modify it. Finally... And this is a big issue that extends beyond corsets... Ladies, the underwear goes on OVER the garter belt straps. Otherwise you have to take off the straps to get to the goodies. It's either, wear no underwear or remember to put the undies on after you have strapped in the stockings. I do love hearing about your forays into sexual territory. I am very proud and very turned on.

Two. Writing isn't easy, be patient
My first book will show you that my early attempts at this blog thing were pretty sketchy. For those of you that never read the early stuff, the book may be a bit of a let down as the quality and the topics aren't as glorious as they might be now. I hope that the early writing will show you how far someone can go with writing when they stick it out. For those of you that are just starting to write, I hope that the book shows you how much you will grow if you give it time. I understand that it's difficult to organize ideas or to make them sound special, but the more you do it, the easier it will get. The better you will feel about it.

Three. I do not want you to visit me.
Recently, I experienced a blind siding to my life when someone asked me a really tough question which forced me to think really hard about my behaviors and one of the things I have realized is this - I have two worlds that I live in. The public world and the private world. The public world is made up of my writing and my comedy appearances. In those contexts, I am free to you and willing to chat, answer questions or hang out. In my private world, which is when I am home, I need to be able to separate and isolate myself from others. It's not really a healthy thing, but I ask that you do not cross this line and respect my wishes. I am pretty open, as this blog will show you, and that is what I am willing to share with you most of who I am. My home is not open to discussion.

Four. Erotica has it's time and place.
If you want to write to me and tell me who you are, what you like to do or what you are doing, I think that's great. BUT DO NOT, under any circumstances, send me links, forwards, jokes, handcrafted stories of fantasies or pictures of your animals. I enjoy you, not what you have found on the internet, or what you think would be fun to do if you came to visit me. The easiest way for me to block your email is for me to see that you forwarded me something or if you carry on with erotic tales that are fabricated. I enjoy the true stories (and the photos) of your lives, but I do not have time to read every erotic fantasy that is sent to me and I will not visit a site that you find interesting. Sorry, I spend too much time on this thing already.

Five. Be sure of what you want.
I understand that many of you are going through some critical points in your lives; New jobs, new relationships, new homes, etc. However, I ask you to think about what you are doing before you act. I am flattered by the notion that I might have helped you find a new life, a new experience, a new perspective or a new attitude, but I ask that you be sure of what you are doing before you go out to a Swing club or buy a motorcycle, or before you buy tickets to Tuva. I like the spirit that drives your ambition, and I am a bit envious at times of the things you get to do, but please, don't feel that you have to try everything I talk about. It's your world you are trying to live in, not mine. I would hope that what you gain from this site is more motivation, but not direction.

Six. Offer accepted.
I live in Washington state. I travel quite a bit and lately, my career has been spent the majority of it's time in the Pacific Northwest and the Orient. So, your offer to come meet you, or you and your husband, your wife, your sister, your mother, or your best friend whom I remind you of, I will gladly accept. But understand this; If you live in Florida, it might be a while before I make it your way, so don't get frustrated if I don't make it down there the next weekend. When I do come that way, I will do what I can to meet you. I have enjoyed meeting all of my readers with two exceptions.

Seven. Name please.
Most of you I only know as kooky little names in your email profile. If you want me to write to you, it would help to know more about you than the fact that you are balloon_lover69. I have always been bad with names and I am working on trying to remember them from now on. If you email me, put your name on it so I know with whom I am dealing.

Eight. Questions, questions, questions.
I like your questions. If you want to ask me about a particular post, please indicate which post the questions come from. Please put, "Question.. (and the name of post)" in the subject line, so I know what you are referring too. That will help big time. I am not a big fan of the Questions of the Weak, but I will do them if I think the questions have merit. No more of this ridiculous shit. Have a real question or comment, then let me know.

Nine. Recommendations.
If you tell someone about this blog, I love you. I would love a ton of readers. But if you do tell them about me, remind them to tell me how they found the blog and how long they have been reading it. I am never sure if some of the emails I see are virus, spam, or if they are legit emails from new readers. If you're a new reader, let me know that in the subject line.

Ten. No nudes.
I have no nude photos of myself to share so stop asking. If you want one, you will have to take one yourself, if, and when we meet.

Eleven. Keep it short.
I have to read a lot of emails, so if you want me to read what you have to say and respond to it, keep it short. If it's the weekend, when I generally have more time to read and respond, then go ahead and lay out a fat one. But keep in mind, I may not read it all. A few sentances, a few lines, that's great. I can read that and I will usually write back. I can't write back to everyone, so my responses might be short in general. Unless I like you, then they will be long.

Twelve. Editing.
I love all of your editing comments. I know that I don't possess the greatest English skills in the world, it's something I fight with it everyday. Your tips and comments are greatly appreaciated, but let's keep away from the comments about wrong or right.

Thirteen. Requests.
You want to see the comedy show, find me a venue. You want me to set up a web site with more photos and other information, introduce me to someone that knows how to do that. You want me to write about something, give me a clear idea of what you are talking about.

Fourteen. Ads.
I think they are funny and, yes, it is weird that they match up with what I am writing about. So far, I think, nine people have clicked on the ads, so they may pull them soon. Are they really that much of a distraction?

Thank you.
I don't say thank you enough to all of you that do come to this site. Some of you are daily readers and some of you just do the one day-read the last week readers. What ever you do, thank you. I really appreciate everyone who reads this.