a million tiny voices cried out
I have worn all kinds of cock rings in my day and most of them are just lovely. Yes, I'm a proud to admit it and I highly recommend them to anyone that truly enjoys their cock. There is all kinds to meet the tastes of everyone; You have the leather ones with snaps. There are the solid metal rings that really look better than they work, but the look cool. There are the surgical tubing kind... Those just make you feel like someone's going to pee in your mouth. There is something about surgical tubing that just isn't very sexual. But back to the point, there are all kinds. Find one that works for you and give it a try.
Yesterday, for reasons that I shall not explain, I entered an adult bookstore. I enjoy adult bookstores, especially when they call their "stock" marital aides. Well, the normal stock of marital aides were there; oils, condoms, crotchless panties, 9 inch platform shoes for the wife, a rubber vagina for the husband, videos (3 for $10.. isn't that great? How do they make any money with bargains like this? I must have twelve tons of...) Most of these marital goodies work wonders for the American marriage as America can proudly boast one of the lowest divorce rates in the world (If you compare us against Saudi Arabia and Syria - lots of widowers in Saudi Arabia and Syria, hmmmmm.) So these kind of adult bookstores are working wonders for keeping good, healthy, strong family values alive. That's why I am really here - to keep the spirit of the American family, alive and healthy.
I like to view everything in the store and more importantly, I like to be loud about it. If you ever wanted to see the cowardice of a society, go into it's local adult bookstore when there are actually some people inside and it's not midnight. It's deathly quiet. No one looks at each other. Everyone's sexuality is on display and everyone is nervous about that. One guy doesn't want another guy to know what he's into and in turn, he doesn't want to know what he's into. These "he's" are people you might know. The man who sells you insurance might be there buying "grow big" pills and the entire series of "big black anal mammas". The woman that teaches your 7 year old how to read and write, might be buying some vanilla flavored motion lotion and a black latex mask with matching panties. A young, spirited woman barely old enough to be in here might be looking around for some answers. And a young man, not old enough to be in here, is hoping she might share them with him. NO ONE... Says a word. These places smell of fear and anxiety when they should smell of hope and excitement. I mean, come on, you are going to get off at some point after you leave here, now isn't that exciting? Shouldn't there be some joy in their behavior? Why are they moving so slowly and awkwardly?
...No....
Just quietly grab the videos and read the back as if they information written in the description is going to "sell" you on it. Wander aimlessly, waiting for the aisle with gay porn to clear so you can view it without figuring out you're gay. Don't make eye contact with anyone. Smirk and quietly chuckle a few times to look cool. Grab a box of condoms... You can always put them back later, but this way it looks like you had a reason to be in here for something and not your not one of the "perverts" that frequent these places.
You would think that an adult bookstore would be the most hopping, happenin' place on earth. A place where everyone could gather and just have a grand ole time, but it's not to be. Fear envelops us and we succumb to the anxieties of social pressure. NOT ME...
I am loud.
I am really loud.
I ask questions, like;
"Does this blow up doll come in any other colors?"
"Is there a warranty on it?"
"Can you heat a dildo in an oven without melting it?" (to clean it)
"If I don't get off to this video, can I bring it back?"
"Do you have any videos with REALLY young looking chicks in it?"
"Will this lotion burn if I use it for anal?"
"Do you have any hot grandma action videos?"
"My uncle used to show me this porn with these two guys in it, do you have it?"
Remember, it's important to as far away from the counter as possible when you ask these questions. It gets laughs or it scares people out of the room. But it shows them that you can be proud of your sexuality and you don't have to hide it. [Note: there is virtually every kind of porn in this 3 for $10 deal... Black grandma midgets with one eye who like to take young Mexican she-males and their white lesbian lovers at the same time.. It's a good one, I recommend it]
I almost made it out of the store, but I saw the little display of cock rings and I just had to take a peek. It's time for a new one anyway. The usual cast of characters were there; leather one, metal ring, surgical tube, and little rubber ring... Little Rubber Ring??? I have never seen Little Rubber Ring. This is a new one on me. Little Rubber Ring - really! Okay.
Now for those of you with weak hearts, I ask you to skip the rest of today's post.
I am home, alone with my new Little Rubber Ring. It's purple. Not my choice, but who cares, it matches my hair anyway. Flaccid, the ring is barely big enough to fit around my pinky. The rubber itself is familiar and I soon realized that it's the same material that they make wall crawlers and those annoying sticky hands with. So, flaccid it's pretty small and not flattering to show off, but it has amazing skills. It can stretch around your skull( I checked, it does). I am pretty sure you can crawl through it, if you wanted too. It's not particularly sexy looking, but it's comfy, which I can't say for every cock ring out there.
The trick, for those of you who don't know, is to put on a cock ring when you are "soft". Then you get hard and the ring stays in place. Sadly, many people believe that the ring just goes around the shaft and they learn the hard way that they are wrong. It goes around the whole package. (knowledge is power) This little rubber ring, well, you can put it on whenever. Being a purist, I put it on first and then settled in for a moment with myself.
.... ..... .... ....
... ....
Thank you.
A cock ring's purpose it to keep blood locked into place thus keeping things at their fullest capacity, so after the show is over, it takes a while for things to "disappear". I know this, but I also know that Little Rubber Ring is flexible and I can just pull it off....
Men, avert your eyes for a moment.
NEVER, pull off Little Rubber Ring when still aroused. I used the condom removal grab-and-throw method, which looks a lot like someone taking off surgical gloves. Little Rubber Ring grabbed a "friend" and tried to take him with him. Little Rubber Ring grabbed him HARD. Really hard and Little Rubber Ring and I had to have a clarification session - No grabbing my nuts. They get abused enough in the show and they needn't be strangled after the fact.
Little Rubber Ring is good. He was cheap. He works out pretty well and if it wasn't for his foolish wanna-be French Tickler lumps that he has on him, he would be pretty cool. AND! I can wear him everywhere as a bracelet while he is out of service. Everyone will think I am supporting cancer survivors. Which is why I went into the adult bookstore in the first place.
Yesterday, for reasons that I shall not explain, I entered an adult bookstore. I enjoy adult bookstores, especially when they call their "stock" marital aides. Well, the normal stock of marital aides were there; oils, condoms, crotchless panties, 9 inch platform shoes for the wife, a rubber vagina for the husband, videos (3 for $10.. isn't that great? How do they make any money with bargains like this? I must have twelve tons of...) Most of these marital goodies work wonders for the American marriage as America can proudly boast one of the lowest divorce rates in the world (If you compare us against Saudi Arabia and Syria - lots of widowers in Saudi Arabia and Syria, hmmmmm.) So these kind of adult bookstores are working wonders for keeping good, healthy, strong family values alive. That's why I am really here - to keep the spirit of the American family, alive and healthy.
I like to view everything in the store and more importantly, I like to be loud about it. If you ever wanted to see the cowardice of a society, go into it's local adult bookstore when there are actually some people inside and it's not midnight. It's deathly quiet. No one looks at each other. Everyone's sexuality is on display and everyone is nervous about that. One guy doesn't want another guy to know what he's into and in turn, he doesn't want to know what he's into. These "he's" are people you might know. The man who sells you insurance might be there buying "grow big" pills and the entire series of "big black anal mammas". The woman that teaches your 7 year old how to read and write, might be buying some vanilla flavored motion lotion and a black latex mask with matching panties. A young, spirited woman barely old enough to be in here might be looking around for some answers. And a young man, not old enough to be in here, is hoping she might share them with him. NO ONE... Says a word. These places smell of fear and anxiety when they should smell of hope and excitement. I mean, come on, you are going to get off at some point after you leave here, now isn't that exciting? Shouldn't there be some joy in their behavior? Why are they moving so slowly and awkwardly?
...No....
Just quietly grab the videos and read the back as if they information written in the description is going to "sell" you on it. Wander aimlessly, waiting for the aisle with gay porn to clear so you can view it without figuring out you're gay. Don't make eye contact with anyone. Smirk and quietly chuckle a few times to look cool. Grab a box of condoms... You can always put them back later, but this way it looks like you had a reason to be in here for something and not your not one of the "perverts" that frequent these places.
You would think that an adult bookstore would be the most hopping, happenin' place on earth. A place where everyone could gather and just have a grand ole time, but it's not to be. Fear envelops us and we succumb to the anxieties of social pressure. NOT ME...
I am loud.
I am really loud.
I ask questions, like;
"Does this blow up doll come in any other colors?"
"Is there a warranty on it?"
"Can you heat a dildo in an oven without melting it?" (to clean it)
"If I don't get off to this video, can I bring it back?"
"Do you have any videos with REALLY young looking chicks in it?"
"Will this lotion burn if I use it for anal?"
"Do you have any hot grandma action videos?"
"My uncle used to show me this porn with these two guys in it, do you have it?"
Remember, it's important to as far away from the counter as possible when you ask these questions. It gets laughs or it scares people out of the room. But it shows them that you can be proud of your sexuality and you don't have to hide it. [Note: there is virtually every kind of porn in this 3 for $10 deal... Black grandma midgets with one eye who like to take young Mexican she-males and their white lesbian lovers at the same time.. It's a good one, I recommend it]
I almost made it out of the store, but I saw the little display of cock rings and I just had to take a peek. It's time for a new one anyway. The usual cast of characters were there; leather one, metal ring, surgical tube, and little rubber ring... Little Rubber Ring??? I have never seen Little Rubber Ring. This is a new one on me. Little Rubber Ring - really! Okay.
Now for those of you with weak hearts, I ask you to skip the rest of today's post.
I am home, alone with my new Little Rubber Ring. It's purple. Not my choice, but who cares, it matches my hair anyway. Flaccid, the ring is barely big enough to fit around my pinky. The rubber itself is familiar and I soon realized that it's the same material that they make wall crawlers and those annoying sticky hands with. So, flaccid it's pretty small and not flattering to show off, but it has amazing skills. It can stretch around your skull( I checked, it does). I am pretty sure you can crawl through it, if you wanted too. It's not particularly sexy looking, but it's comfy, which I can't say for every cock ring out there.
The trick, for those of you who don't know, is to put on a cock ring when you are "soft". Then you get hard and the ring stays in place. Sadly, many people believe that the ring just goes around the shaft and they learn the hard way that they are wrong. It goes around the whole package. (knowledge is power) This little rubber ring, well, you can put it on whenever. Being a purist, I put it on first and then settled in for a moment with myself.
.... ..... .... ....
... ....
Thank you.
A cock ring's purpose it to keep blood locked into place thus keeping things at their fullest capacity, so after the show is over, it takes a while for things to "disappear". I know this, but I also know that Little Rubber Ring is flexible and I can just pull it off....
Men, avert your eyes for a moment.
NEVER, pull off Little Rubber Ring when still aroused. I used the condom removal grab-and-throw method, which looks a lot like someone taking off surgical gloves. Little Rubber Ring grabbed a "friend" and tried to take him with him. Little Rubber Ring grabbed him HARD. Really hard and Little Rubber Ring and I had to have a clarification session - No grabbing my nuts. They get abused enough in the show and they needn't be strangled after the fact.
Little Rubber Ring is good. He was cheap. He works out pretty well and if it wasn't for his foolish wanna-be French Tickler lumps that he has on him, he would be pretty cool. AND! I can wear him everywhere as a bracelet while he is out of service. Everyone will think I am supporting cancer survivors. Which is why I went into the adult bookstore in the first place.
posted by Daniel Loomis | 9:10 AM
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