the bliss and the blasphemy

The road is never ending. Even if your life is still and your head sleeps against the same pillow every night, your life is constantly in motion heading down the road. You won't see everything you want to see. You won't go everywhere you want to go. You won't always be able to share the experience with everyone you want to. You can whine about it, or enjoy the ride.

I haven't been on my motorcycle for almost three weeks, but my journey didn't end when I got off the pony. I am still out here, rolling away the countless miles and hours. I didn't plan for this trip, but here I am - on the trip. No amount of preplanning can ever really prepare you for a trip. The only reward you get for a job well done is the knowledge that you get to keep on traveling. There are no souvenirs, no scars, and no consequences here, just stories. The road just keeps rolling itself out in front of you.

Two years. Two full long years of my life have gone into this experience. It started with just simple posts filled with outrageous amounts of misspellings, grammatical errors and basic dullness. But it grew and the reading became more and more tolerable. The Danists were few back then, but they were mighty and they kept me involved. If they wanted to read it, then it couldn't be all bad. The readers, it would seem, became the nurturing parent and the writer the needy child. This was enough to feed my ego and it became an addiction. As the Danist nation grew, so did my ego and the addiction. And like all addictions, there was a catch - obligation. I began to feel obligated to the Danist nation to keep this blog going. No matter what. If I was sick, so what. If I was in a foreign country, so what. If I was kidnapped and being held in a computer-free area, so what. Keep the posts comin'! If just a few days went by without a post, I received endless emails, and not "are you okay" emails. Oh no, these were, "Okay, lazy asshole, where is the post?!" emails. Earlier this year I had to step back for a few weeks to deal with an odd health issue that crippled my hands and my brain and instead of concern for my wellbeing, the Danist nation grew impatient and unruly. As a last resort, I called in surrogates and that only enraged them further. It seems that Danists like there Daily-Dan and not a knock-off. I think I got better faster just to appease the Danist nation. You can view this as both a good and bad thing. (I liked the surrogate posts)

I have done. I did it. I am done. It's time for me to move on to other things, which is a nice way of saying that if I am going to spend four or five hours a day writing then I need to get paid for it. I appreciate those of you who stepped up and aided me in my time of financial need and almost convinced me to stay on, but it was asking a lot to beg for the money, I doubt that I can demand money. I can't begin to imagine what that obligation would feel like.

However, to those of you that did pony up when I cried out, I will figure out a way to repay you. For those of you that didn't - get stuffed. Your inability to step up when called upon should show you something about yourself and your relationship to the world around you. For those of you that only use this blog to "keep up with Daniel" in lieu of actually contacting me; I guess this means you'll have to overcome some laziness issues and write me. (stamped mail only - I won't open your emails)

To all of you - the readers, the fans, the Danists, the involved - I do not wish to say goodbye to you. I think I would rather take this chance to say, "Thank you". Thank you for things that I can not express in words. A thanks that is grander in sentiment than you will ever know. This has been a labor of love for me and your involvement, your patience, your tolerance and your sense of humor have sustained me through all of the travel, the addictions, the moves, the lessons, the health issues, and the self-righteousness. No matter what I write in the future or for whom or where, I doubt that I will ever have an audience so greatly assembled and loved.

Before I left for the Invasion of America trip, I wrote a note that was to be published in case of my death. I think it says a lot.

---------

I love you all and continue to do so in many ways that most of you will never truly comprehend. Who I am and what I am will differ for each of you, as this is a truth for all people, so please do not waste your time trying to explain or justify what has passed. I hope that you will take with you the knowledge that this time we spent together has been the greatest honor of my life. It has been my pleasure to have known you and to have been a part of your life.

However things work out, I hope that you see that nothing is ever truly over. If I leave any sort of legacy with you, I hope it is this: I hope that all of you seek out your dreams and live them to within an inch of your own life, for only then will you realize what life is really meant to be. I wish for you only the best that life can be.

"If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Thoreau

Whenever imagination becomes reality, I am there in spirit.

Yours,
Daniel Rock