string

It's often overlooked but you seem the everywhere. We really take them for granted or, if we do acknowledge them, it's to scorn them. They exist as a reminder to all of us where something starts and something else ends and I have never heard someone compliment one, but I have heard people describe them as an obstacle. Their tone to describe it sounds almost personal.

Georgie, my President, spent his sunday with some special needs children from across America. He invited them all to play a game of Tee Ball on the south lawn of the White House. And that's really a great thing. Special needs children, playing a game with no outs, no strikes and where everyone wins. No heckling... it's sports nirvana. It's pretty obvious where I am going with this and I don't think it would be surprising to hear me say something like, "The White House staff, feeling sorry for George, brought in some like-minded souls to share the day with. The idea behind the move was to lessen Georgie's anxiety about always feeling inferior to the rest of the White House staff and to let him feel like an important person for the day. There was a nation wide search for the most afflicted of the afflicted and only those who seem to be bad at Tee ball were invited. Georgie never struck out and he scored a run and he was allowed to show off the White house to all of his new friends. He was all smiles and laughter. His little hands clapping and waving in the warm July sunshine. The children benefited from the trip by being allowed to see that one of their own had risen to one of the most powerful positions in the world and that anything was possible." (when the rules of the game are altered to make it impossible for you to lose. Like charity, false reality, or being shepherded by other more powerful people that make the rules.)

Yeah, I could have said that. Or I could have say, "The President is being asked to take on a new role which his staff feels he is more than capable of; babysitting their children. George, not sure of what to do, created a game of Tee Ball for the special needs children and altered the rules to make them feel like winners and to insure that they continue to vote Republican. "There are no losers in the Republican party" said Georgie, "if we all play together and we do as we are told". Not available for comment was Mrs. Georgie who was in Africa feeding dying children. Children who's lives were altered when a much more powerful country ravaged their country for profit. "One child at a time" said Mrs. Georgie, "we can make a difference."

Yeah, that would have been funny. But creating satire about the President, as easy and as fun as it is to do, was not paramount in my mind today, I was putting up fences.

Putting up a fence looks like it would be a fairly easy task compared to some of the things I have to do around here. It looks so simple on paper. Dig hole, put fence post in hole, string out fencing material, tack it on, DONE! Of course, the true art of any task is in the finer details that fly below the radar and are always much more complicated than you want them to be and actually make the project, work! The little things like, measuring the distance that you want to fence. Lining up the posts to be equal across that distance. Digging the fucking holes to a suitable depth. Firming up the posts to make sure they don't jiggle. Stringing out the fencing material. Making sure it's measured out properly on each post. Making sure that each post is where it is supposed to be. Making sure that the distance between two points is truly a straight line. Making sure you have "enough" material to do the job; posts, fencing, staples, nails, etc. Making sure there is a gate if there needs to be. Making sure that you have the right distance between the two posts that will make up the gate. Hanging a gate. Drilling a hole for the hinges. Tightening the hinges on the fence to make sure it doesn't slip. Leveling the gate to make sure it works. Making sure the gate locks. Bracing the ends of the fence to make sure you have the right tension on the fence.

So when all of that is done, you have a simple, easy fence installed... And the rest of your day to slack off.

With all that you need to remember to do and in which order (above is not in order) you will forget something. Or you will do something to make the task harder than it is. For me that excerberation came in the way of string.

Lovely stuff. Simple, silky soft string. All rolled up like kite string. No problem here. String is used to insure that the line of the fence is straight. You tie it to one end and you string it across the span you are trying to fence and you have a template of where your posts need to go. Simple. Right?

String lives in a universe of it's own. It has it's own magnetism and it's law of physics when it comes to strength.

Again, in the heat, I am no mental giant. I should be playing Tee ball really. But there I am, tying string to a post and trying to let it roll out as I walk along the proposed fence line. A mild breeze picks up and the string carries a bit. The further I walk, the further the string carries off center. I finally get to the end and I look back to see a huge sideways arch in the string. Being a genius, I try to pull it straight. It gets caught on grass and won't let go. I pull harder. It won't budge. That fucking grass is holding all 200 pounds of me. It's fighting over the string with me and winning. So I walk back a bit to free up the string and the string, sensing some tension relief and slack, sails away and catches on other obstructions that I wasn't aware were obstructions; Tiny pebbles, dead insect, leaf on the ground.

Quickly, I started to roll up the string. Which never returns to the spool the same way it came off and it begins to bunch up in the middle. I let it out of the spool a bit and this sticky string which was strong enough to hold on to a blade of grass and not move, just flops off the spool onto the ground into a big ball, which is impossible to untangle. (there was grass holding on to it).

Twenty minutes into the unraveling of the ball of string, I notice that the string has found it's way around both my shoes and one leg. I start to laugh, either from dehydration or from the silliness of how this looks. I begin to imagine this string as a living organism and it's trying to kill me. I wonder what people would say if they found me, dead, with string wrapped around me in the middle of this field? I'm sure the first thing they would say is, "what was he thinking about that he let that string get the best of him?"

Tee Ball with Georgie. The most powerful man in the world, playing Tee Ball with special needs children, and only being able to play them to a draw.