take a deeeeep breath... and let it out

Well... Wasn't that a lot to soak in. I can see from the emails that no one read, or doesn't remember any of the good days that I wrote about. Apparently, the bad days are the only days that any of you feel made a difference in my life. That could be my fault for being such a dark guy or it could be you that are a dark audience and you just like stories of strife.

The days I picked were not the only bad days I ever had, and they are not the only bad days in the history of man, so please don't make them the cornerstone of your impressions about me. If these were consecutive days, I could understand your sentiments. Hell, my heart would ache too. But these weren't consecutive days and for every bad day, there are a dozen great days that were far more interesting and influential on my growth as a human being. I guess a bad day just carries more weight with readers. Perhaps they speak to us of things such as survival, which is always something that amazes us and leaves an emotional memory. (think I'm kidding... everyone remembers the baby in the well stories and quickly forgets the cripple that climbs the mountain stories).Is it that? Or maybe it's the discovery of another of societies' little secrets that enthralls us. Whatever it is, the darker the tale, the easier it is to remember. A good day - everyone has good days, big deal. Dime a dozen.

What I wanted to do was show that you can never know ANYONE, completely. I gave you 9 days of my life. Just 9 out of a possible 12,100 and from that you felt you were able to understand me better. But if you are not willing to accept that great days affect me just as strongly as bad ones, then you would only know half the story... And that was point of this week's posts - To show that I give you all I want anyone to know. I give you the cookie and not the individual ingredients that make up the batter.

"You can tell a lot about someone from the shoes they wear... The company they keep... The LOOK in their eye... The depth of their laughter."

Wrong. You can tell very little about someone from these attributes. These are only momentary indicators. So too are the moments that they share with you. I can tell you the details of the day, but I can not describe their impact or the lessons learned. Here's a better idea... Stop trying to look for windows into the soul of strangers and just work with what you have in the moment.

It's not important for you to know someone so thoroughly. Not that you should keep everyone a mystery either, but there is no need to spend every waking moment trying to feel out each and every day of someone else's life just to understand them. You don't know yourself that well so why waste your time on someone less important than yourself?

For every bad day that my path crosses through, I see twenty great days that trump it. For every broken dream, or painful hospital stay, there is the experience of a new landscape, a fresh conversation with someone that I enjoy, or the birth of a new dream, or, my personal favorite - the feeling of surprise.

I will not answer any questions about these days, so don't ask. I say this because those questions will only inspire more questions, which invites more questions, and more...

For those of you who already know me as a friend, I hope you see that no matter how well you think you know... I think you know the rest.

And for those of you that didn't know me, Happy Valentine's Day. I hope that I didn't ruin your week.